Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML
Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
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Top comments
hikurashi83 15
Am I the only one who noticed how well this was written?
Just_A_Tree 20
Use Cheerios for target practice?
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Comments (57)
Just_A_Tree 20
Use Cheerios for target practice?
MeanBeagle 22
toilet paper with rings drawn? I feel its more destructive and satisfying to watch as you piss it to shreds
Meettitan 14
Paint a fly on the inside of the toilet bowl. Us men are proven to have better aim when we have something to aim at.
sayyestothedress 24
#1 Or maybe onion rings, they're a bigger target!
Just_A_Tree 20
The toilet bowl is a pretty big target and he can't seem to hit that.
hikurashi83 15
Am I the only one who noticed how well this was written?
DanielSweatpants 3
All FML's are written well, they're edited by the devs before being published.
mb2_native 15
That'll show those Grammar Nazis, they can't fix what isn't broken.
gpg5 19
Next time he goes in hold the door shut until he cleans up. He'll get desperate enough he'll clean up, mainly out of hunger.
Just_A_Tree 20
The kid is 16, and assuming the door opens inward and locks from the inside, this could be somewhat harder than it sounds. I suggest slowly taking things apart. Leave him a note stating that for every day the bathroom is not cleaned, one screw will go missing from something important. Then, start small. Just a screw out of the chair he always sits in, and watch him fall. And then, slowly work up. Go however far is necessary! Brake lines can really get his attention! WARNING: this last method suggested is extremely dangerous! And may cause him and possibly others to die. This method is not highly recommended.
DoubleDosexo 12
she can switch the way the door locks and lock him in there?
Lasagnaa 24
Whoop his ass!
Gabilliam 19
Boys. We have a sign up on our bathroom door that says "If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat!"
iAmPaul 49
That's misandrist and I'm triggered.
MeanBeagle 22
a shot in the dark, and you wont do great! use two hands if you can't aim!
lil_ham1644 29
Is that supposed to rhyme 24?
Brandi_Faith 34
Ugh, the realities of living with brothers! I had 2 older brothers and although they didn't pee all over the place, like Op's brother, they would sometimes get a drop on the seat that I would end up sitting in. So gross! I was also grossed out with the hair all over the bathroom so I ended up using my parents bathroom and sharing it with them. At least I knew it was always clean. My parents totally understood and thankfully let me use theirs till my brothers moved out.
YFOS_fml 17
Maybe his aim isn't so good after all
Ihavegas 22
put a target on his back at the next event.
Ihavegas 22
kid definitely needs to sit his ass down when he pee.
TCRII 30
Use his pillow to clean everything up.
fazerfazer 4
:(