Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Would you prefer U Pee S?
mduffy08 8
Did you have any mail?
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Comments (207)
laurenmacias 0
Well you live in a friendly neighborhood
OffToTheGayBar 9
This reminds me of Riley. "IF R. KELLY GOES TO JAIL, I'LL PISS ON YO' CAT!"
gigigdancer 0
DYING LOLOLOLLLL
argybargy 3
OP: pleeeeeease tell me you kicked him in the junk before he had a chance to zip up. No jury in the world would convict you.
marisadc79 0
Um hello, call the police or beat their ass down but do something
BenjiXBass 2
Sounds like something my friend josh would do xD
E001mek 5
return the favor and shit on his car
Andtewrdz 0
No offense but that's pretty funny
gordon5528 1
Why did they do that? Lol did you do something to them?
PhilipNotMacedon 3
It's a crime, and his piss contains his DNA. You've got everything you need to prove his guilt. Off to court with you!