Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML
Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML
Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML
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Top comments
Pointy130 0
Dogs mouths are cleaner than humans. just get a new toothbrush, no problem. still disgusting though
flyboy57 0
you have a smart kid. he may have just punk'ed you.
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Comments (74)
lampshade131 0
the grossest part is you use the same toothbrush for 2 months
lampshade131 0
the grossest part is you use the same toothbrush for 2 months
MacintoshDima 0
I remember this same exact FML like 5 months ago...
FerrariCake 2
Get a clue: this is why toothbrushes are made in a variety of colors. Get one color for you, different color for the dog. Simple. Scariest part of this? You are responsible for the well-being of a young child.
iPirate 0
@34 - Children do lots of stupid things like this without asking. How would it be the OP's fault if the kid is just as stupid as all the other kids? At least the kid is being brought up to care for others.
FerrariCake 2
I have no idea what you're talking about.
satanstoystore 0
ydi. your son is right. stop contaminating the dogs tooth brush. they have standars you know. stuff they taste have to be at least as good as their balls or anus.
Dr_Pepper_fml 3
Has it occurred to ANYONE that the son might have been using HER toothbrush on the dog? What adult would keep a dog toothbrush next to their own toothbrush in the bathroom (think bristles touching each other and all of that) --that said, if that is not what happened and SHE had designated this toothbrush to be the dog's, wow.......
xScoutx 0
Dogs have cleaner mouths than humans.
megellin95 0
everyone... drags on fml's too much this is the site you post shit that happens to you in your life so stop saying they're stupid, or swearing at them or something, it just makes you look stupid. the son probably assigned his mothers toothbrush to the dog, not caring it was his mothers. just read on, you don't have to make a big shit about every single FML you read.. everyones so ******* rude on this site, everyone who bags an FML, sounds like an idiot unless its necessery. leave everyone alone, i'm sure if you put up an FML you'd get shit for it. i'd give you shit for it, anyone who acts like a smart ass towards someones FML ends up, sounding like an idiot.
Dr_Pepper_fml 3
I second that. If people posted truly ****** up things-- "Today, I found out I have cancer and have 6 months to live. FML" "Today, my grandma died. FML." "Today, I found out I failed my chem test from last week. FML." --who would want to read that depressing shit?! FMLs are meant to be funny, embarrassing, humiliating, and in some cases just straight up ****** up. People need to chill.
mattgood 0
Wow, I can't believe some people can't even understand the FML.
Wafflerake 0
You used the same toothbrush for two months?
Intoxicunt 6
You're only supposed to dispose of them once every 6 months. They're not like cardboard disposable or something.