Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML
Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML
Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pointy130 0
Dogs mouths are cleaner than humans. just get a new toothbrush, no problem. still disgusting though
flyboy57 0
you have a smart kid. he may have just punk'ed you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
amberita28 0
wow, you have a responsible 5 year old. he actually brushes his dogs teeth! good job!
RHOPKINS13 2
Wow, I feel very sorry for Sammy. FSL.
kosscom 0
In America Obama brushes your teeth for you!
eefx 0
why would you keep your dogs toothbrush in the bathroom?!
birds_fml 7
Why does your dog have a toothbrush? Also, for all the people saying a dog's mouth is cleaner than our own... yes, it is true that a dog's mouth has fewer germs, making it "cleaner." HOWEVER the germs that are in our own mouth are harmless to us, while the germs that are in a dog's mouth can make a human sick.
BadOwner 0
does your 5 year old son happen to be the from the fml above yours?
livexlaughxlove1 0
dogs have cleaner mouths than humans.
rawr_lol 0
Ew lol
staplergunn 0
you know michael jackson would never use the same toothbrush more than once whatss wrong with this world today using only one toothbrush!! wowo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wwmjd?
Speedycat69 0
If you cleaned it off before using it it's no big deal.
Realityrox 0
You might want to double check on everything else you use. Make sure no one is using your clippers to trim dingleberries off the dogs butt and things like that. Better safe than sorry.