Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML
Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML
Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML
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Top comments
Pointy130 0
Dogs mouths are cleaner than humans. just get a new toothbrush, no problem. still disgusting though
flyboy57 0
you have a smart kid. he may have just punk'ed you.
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Comments (74)
laut_fml 0
A dogs mouth is actually cleaner than a humans...so stop complaining
Benben47 0
Uhh, this FML is exactly like a comic on a calendar I own.
FangsUpCobraFans 0
You used the same toothbrush for two months? That's not sanitary.
capital_seven 0
I wouldn't really mind, frankly. Also, I don't brush my dog's teeth.
BreeKnox 0
dont worry...i learned on animal planet that the human mouth is the dirtiest place there is
Nother_Username 0
yeah #53, and dog saliva has much greater cleaning ability, you should be glad you brushed your teeth with the dog's toothbrush, your mouth is cleaner.
Destroy_Me 0
Hilarious!!! LOL!
yesimemma 7
your dog has a toothbrush?
scene_purple0007 0
HAHA WOW did u puke?
Ericabbyx22 0
so a dougs mouth is cleaner than a humans mouth