sadsadperson
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Desperate for D
Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
idefka
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML
Anonymous
Liar !
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
virgo
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Holly
United States
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Anonymous
Jakarta, Indonesia
Can't take the L
Today, I lied to my father. I told him I got money yesterday. In fact, I just got fired yesterday. I kept a really happy jolly voice when I spoke to him on the phone. FML
indian:(
United States
Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML
wedeserveeachother
Federal Way, United States
Tori Amos?
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
voltronn
France
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Top comments
newzealand 28
You have hit rock bottom my friend.
marinus_fml 20
Luckily diaries can't talk back, because it would have called bullshit.
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Comments (205)
cBlackout 13
Did u tell it about this post?
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
You're writing ANOTHER diary? Aren't there like, 5 diary of a wimpy kid books?
kipdjordy 0
Its ok your dairy will never find out.
TheNewGuy03 29
Well, you gotta milk it for all it's worth.
paynee 0
Eminem reference possibly?
jaredofmo 22
I don't know if to vote "Your life sucks" or "You deserved it." It seems to be a weird combination of both.
Bloodlvst 11
It's less a diary and more a book full of hopes and dreams
xblitzx34 0
Is it that hard u can't put out
Ddevon 4
why do you still use a diary in the first place, FYL
ambowew 7
Your diary can boast about this in the future. It's been opened more times than your legs. Not a hard feat but in the circumstances it'll be tearing itself to find anything to hold over you.
nickgman2222 0
Aw that is harsh. I laughed for five minutes. Nice
RyanMacVey 17
lying to your diary is perfectly normal... my diary currently thinks that i am the first asian president of the united states and that i am in a civil partnership with nelson mandela damn it is so gullible
Killer_fel 15
Wow, I would love that kind of diary. Mine doesen't believe anything I say!
FashionJester 4
It confuses me as to why you would lie to your diary, but i guess i could understand it. Going without certain things, is not necessarily something you wish to reminded about when you re-read it.