Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I spilt boiling tea all over my stomach and left leg, so I went to the hospital to get it checked out. They said I wouldn't be able to expose it to the sun for the next two months. I'm going to Barbados tomorrow. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
Walk it off
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
BURNED
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
Top comments
mpsteve137 15
Duh it didnt work. You forgot to add the mayonnaise.
greenwich1945 13
Your coworker sounds like a dick.
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Comments (195)
greenwich1945 13
Your coworker sounds like a dick.
BarDownDaily 12
If the coworker sincerely thought it would help then they weren't being a dick.
Kriyptic 8
I don't think some coworker would be an asshole about a serious burn. He probably thought it actually worked. Or just wanted the place to smell like hotdogs.
IntenZeNative 12
probably is haha
ucoolgirl31 20
Well I would have just gone straight to the hospital. Personally I wouldn't risk worsening it any further with something I haven't tried before.
mikeofthunder 13
That's cos you's a pussy! *high five*
THE_A_TEEN 28
*turns high five into a fist* *punches mike's face*
princesskb 1
Actually I work in a restaraunt and mustard does help for minor burns
Trisha_aus 15
Op should go see DocBastard. ASAP
senor_awesome 14
25-was that a transformers reference?
Purplefluff 6
Yeah he's a troll
senor_awesome 14
I guess he needs to find some friends...any volunteers? No?
llamafish 25
62 - If anyone's the troll here, it's me. No Homestuck fans here? Pity. I'll just go back to my hive then...
raraisbang 12
Mustard does work on minor burns but more serious burns should be treated by a doctor. So technically, the coworker was not being a dick.
B3Y0ND 3
73, please refrain from jacking the threads. Especially with Homestuck. :I
llamafish 25
That wasn't thread-jacking. Thread-jacking would be making a comment that should have been a separate thread entirely. That was just a combination of a shitty comment and poor judgment, and the fact that I'm off my meds today. I thumbed myself down for it.
TheBonzaiGirl 0
What a coincidence 73, we thumbed you down too!
JBMcC 7
Dick of the week...?
risalucky13 6
Actually mustard does work only on minor burns or a bee sting. But not hot boiling water I ur thighs that won't work. If its a 1 degree burn with LiL 2 nd degree yes. Not for a hug burn like that. That's too much burned area and it s not as tough as the skin on ur arms. That inner thigh is softer skin. I'm a nurse/ emt.
Jiplo 18
When in doubt, Google. Or be a nurse/emt.
mpsteve137 15
Duh it didnt work. You forgot to add the mayonnaise.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Not to mention the ketchup! Duh!
alexup24 13
Relish anyone???
ebonyirony 29
Bun down. Pickles. Ketchup. Tomato. No no no! Mr. Krabs I can't do it.
zach8771 3
U saying they have crabs?
alexup24 13
Spongebob makes krabby patties not hot dogs.
angelofsaturn 23
#54 actually there was an ep where they made hot dogs out of leftover krabby patties. Mr. Krabs took the krabby patties off the menu cause the hot dogs were selling better and Spongebob lost his shit. Lol
hugsandisses 6
52 no idiot it's a Spongebob referenc
Moniquenesha 1
54 your picture goes well with the comment
muzy 23
54- what about "the krusty crab pizza is the pizza for you and me" !
alexup24 13
93- whenever I comment people always say that I guess that explains a lot about fml commenters.
letsgopens58 4
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
beckster_05 9
No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.
p3mguin 7
Horse radish is not an instrument either
mswim 27
Whoevers the owner of the light sedan, u left ur lights on.
nado13579 12
Is this FML? No, this is Patrick.
UnearthlyEnemy 9
That is hilarious and sad at the same time. Get better soon, OP.
agm77 9
It's also delicious
thiscrazything 1
Texas BBQ.
MissMae93 23
Ouch, I'd assume mustard should just burn more with it's high acidity level. Hope you're doing better, OP
ilovekarma 8
Fishing for compliments much?
MissMae93 23
18 - I don't understand your comment at all. I stated what I assumed would be the case then have my best wishes to the OP. How does that seem like "fishing for compliments"?
destinee95 0
He's talking about the strip pole pic. She's completely covered so keep the stupid comments to yourself 18
unhappybitch 8
Mustard actually does help with burns, at least it works with me. It hurts at the beginning but it heals it.
senor_awesome 14
For someone who loves karma, that was not a smart comment.
hugsandisses 6
63 shut up ur just upset about the other thread
muzy 23
4# I don't think mustard is very acidic.
sleepinginclass 8
Mustard does help! But I can't stand it, so I use pickle juice which is just as effective.
MissMae93 23
86 - I have chronic heartburn and acid reflux. Oh yes, mustard is very acidic indeed.
muzy 23
missmae93- It actually isn't "very acidic". It is slightly acidic (pH =6.5) if i remember correctly which isn't that low when compared to coke (the drink).
alycion 39
Vinegar works great on sunburn so I don't see why this wouldn't work. I just don't screw around with certain burns though. Home remedies can be great, but boiling water would send me to the er.
duke56924903 11
It depends on what you mean by "very acidic" I mean, it's not acidic enough to burn healthy skin, but it is acidic enough to aggravate a stomach acid problem or to hurt when applied to an open wound (e.g., eating mustard with a cold sore hurts).
MissMae93 23
124 - That's basically what I'm saying. I'd assume a burn via boiling water would be close to breaking skin, causing the skin to become very sensitive. I just figured something with a decently high level of acidity (by my standards apparently) would irritate the newly burned skin.
ImTheAlpha 30
Umm, I've never heard of that. What I've been told is that you should run the burn under cøld water for at least 10 minutes, then wrap sømething, like non-stick film, around the burn to protect it from infection.
DrBlack 9
It's an urban myth to wrap anything like that around a burn and is in fact dangerous.
bengermin 5
^ that is correct. Especially plastic wrap. Really, people?! People are friends, not food.
juanaranda1015 4
I've always used toothpaste whenever I get burned. It relieves the pain extremely well.
Palirose 22
Actually I've been told you run burns under warm sorta cool water. a friend of mine is a nurse and she helped me when I stepped on a hot burning coal.
cBlackout 13
Aloe Vera?
angelofsaturn 23
#14 some people are delicious tho.
Dylan94_fml 8
That isnt true, you're not supposed to put anything like clingfilm onto the burn because it sticks to the burned flesh and is a b*tch to get off, maybe causing even more damage.
ImTheAlpha 30
I'm confused, am I right or am I wrong? O.O
carmenm 6
Your wrong , I have done first aid and they said very clearly do not wrap anything around it or stick anything on it
evilplatypus 39
87 - Not cold water, cool. Cold water makes it worse. You want the water just under temperate.
ShayMarie99 15
I've gotten burned badly before. A staff worker put mustard on my burns and a minute or two later the stings were going away. It works.
doodlecloud 27
It is actually an urban myth that covering a burn is dangerous. You don't have to use clingfilm but it should be covered with something that won't give off lint to prevent infection. Google any major health/doctor website and they'll tell you the same. The NHS website which is the official health and hospital website for the whole of the UK actually recommends the use of clingfilm or a (clean) clear plastic bag.
doodlecloud 27
And really, maybe people could try actually googling things before thumbing comments down? It only takes a few seconds...EVERY WEBSITE says to cover with a dry guaze or non-stick film. You are probably getting confused with the rules 'do not wrap tightly', 'do not bandage', 'do not wrap in clothes that give off fibres' and 'do not use a film that will stick'. NOT THE SAME THING AS NOT COVERING AT ALL.
vocaloidtiger 12
My friend burned her leg pretty badly with hair remover (she made the mistake of rubbing it in), which is pretty much the equivalent of a bleach burn. Her mom, who's a doctor, applied burn ointment (come ON people, enoug with all this crap about vinegar and mustard, burn ointment is for burns, all it takes a a quick run to the pharmacy for God's sake!) and wrapped the leg in saran wrap, which is commonly used. It worked perfectly for the burn. I know you guys are trying to be innovative with all these crazy suggestions (salt, vinegar, toothpaste, mustard), but really, sometimes it's a good idea to use what's actually MADE for things.
mswim 27
Um I've heard putting cold water also hurts like a bi***. But when my mom spilt hot tea all over her arm they told her to slice a tomatoe and run it(the slimy-ish side) on the burn. It help relieve the pain and adds moisture or something. But I got burned once by a frying pan and my friend cut a piece of her aloe vera plant and rubbed the juicy part on the burn. It was very relieving. On this whole controversy on what to do for burns we should ask docb*stard (with a real a of course)
max_bleu 2
#14 plastic wrap is common use over poultices as it keeps it from drying out so I can def see where people get this crazy idea. But it's def not something to be used on burns!!
senor_awesome 14
It's vinegar. Vinegar will help stop the burning faster. Trust me on this one.
senor_awesome 14
And it doesnt heal the burn, it just keeps it from getting worse.
coldashell 23
Vinegar is an acid. Acid on a burn will only make it worse. Please go and ask a medical expert if mustard is good for burns and they will call you a ******* idiot. Perhaps the cold bottle will help ease pain but not mustard itself. Check burn products and see that there is no vinegar for a ******* reason you dumbass.
kakarot2 11
^ he was being sarcastic idiot
Zomg_Okay 27
*Rolls eyes* Something tells me he wasn't serious about the vinegar, guys.
PamChopsWithMint 5
You don't put anything cold on a burn. Running the area under warm to room temp water does the least damage.
hecallsmedarlin 7
103- Yes, you DO run it under a burn under cold water.
hecallsmedarlin 7
^yes, you DO run a burn under cold water.
coldashell 23
^No you do not. You run lukewarm water over a burn. Where's doc to comment on this matter when you need him?
docscientist 10
Just ******* google it...
tandem123 6
At least you smell delicious
janey123 0
Hot dogs smell so disgusting. They smell like 10 day old dog liver and guts. You are so off on this one.
bengermin 5
Now I'm just wondering what condiment would have been too outrageous for OP to believe would work.
slushyslime 7
Tobascco
hecallsmedarlin 7
Salt?
Kriyptic 8
Salt helps close it. Try it!
Leigh_Badd 1
Salt works really well. It just burns like hell first.
shayshayshazam 14
Silly Op, it's ketchup, not mustard!
laden_swallow09 35
YOU NEVER… PUT KETCHUP… ON A WEINER!