Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
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Top comments
tellithowitis 13
Don't even try to explain... No use.
McMan 23
Tell her school was canceled for national alcohol abuse awareness day and that they were coming to get her. May provide some entertainment.
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Comments (90)
musicluvr2000 11
Yell at her for ditching work.
pagullarka 9
Maybe you need to put her in a cold shower and wake her ass up
micahsmommy 13
Couldn't you just point outside? It's winter so it should be dark which obviously means not school time.
perdix 31
Why is she complaining? 5 o' clock is Happy Hour. Veteran alcoholics have the motto, "It's 5 o' clock somewhere!" to let them tell themselves it's a good time for a drink.
lantern 6
Sounds like my mom. I even imagined her doing that while reading this. I'm sorry your mom is so ridiculous OP
MigraineurOfLife 15
Sometimes there are just no words... O_O
dreamer9614 3
Anyone else notice this was posted TODAY and today is SATURDAY? Maybe this didn't happen today but most people that live in Ohio, on the same timezone as me, don't go to school on Saturday. Just sayin.....
KupkakeKitten 8
Wait... It's Saturday?
THE_A_TEEN 28
It's manditory to put "Today" on EVERY FML. The actual FML could have happened yesterday, days, weeks, months, years(unlikely) ago.
Phobetor 5
It's not like I'm telling you something you don't know, but she needs help fast. Believe me. I have a lot of personal experience with this type of thing. This is both a fyl and a fhl. Good luck. I wish you all the best for now & in the future.
kei1108 13
You can call social services. That is really not a healthy living environment. Please get help. :)