Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
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Top comments
xoxilovesoccerxo 0
humiliating moment for you .
starile 20
Hell, I've done that at my kid's school performance of The Little Mermaid-- the Jager-induced crooning is just how we show our little darlings how proud we are!
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Comments (60)
xoxilovesoccerxo 0
humiliating moment for you .
fakeaccountX 6
Her need to get drunk before your shows might tell you something about what she thinks of them.
iSitt 0
is it on YouTube yet?
KRYPTON1T3 5
yeah video or it didn't happen.
2bj1234 0
lmao nice...
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
Your mom just wanted you to be excited she came! Confiscate her vibrator before your shows if the screaming is distracting. (:
stronghand0331 17
So you are aware that she's normally like that, and the "drunk" story you tell people is for sympathy?
starile 20
Hell, I've done that at my kid's school performance of The Little Mermaid-- the Jager-induced crooning is just how we show our little darlings how proud we are!
brewedintexas96 0
and your proud of this because?
DocBastard 40
...because it was a joke, nitwit. You proved yourself nitwit-worthy not only by not catching on it was a joke but also by using the inappropriate "your". Now I await your best "This is FML not English class loser lololol" response.
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
His proud what? Learn the proper uses of your/you're and perhaps someone will tip back the Jager and serenade you for your mediocre accomplishments, as well.
Kesler_17 0
Lol, Doc. 6 is a fool.
Doortje 30
Owz doccie, your SO anoying, take teh dicktionary out of yo A$$ please. LOLOLLLOLOL.
BoyFromTheFuture 0
nice stash....
Bubblerider 3
12 please stfu. doc will be ruler of the world one day. :)
Doortje 30
#51, I know that, it's why I decided to respond to his request.
amyevalorraine 0
That sounds very painful! Sometimes you need to be assertive in those situations. There isn't anything to sue over either, it doesnt sound like malpractice, and usually judges throw out cases of pain and distress. I say suck it up princess. And ydi for not being more assertive.
amyevalorraine 0
Oops my phone f'd up and posted on the wrong fml
Doortje 30
Hey, you should be proud of your mother! Blood is thicker than wat-- erm, booze?
Ryan98_fml 0
ha ha sucks for u
yazmi_09 3
look it's Justin beiber!!
giantsfan2010 23
At least she was quiet again after that.
perdix 31
She thought you needed a prompter.