Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
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Top comments
tellithowitis 13
Don't even try to explain... No use.
McMan 23
Tell her school was canceled for national alcohol abuse awareness day and that they were coming to get her. May provide some entertainment.
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Comments (90)
McMan 23
Tell her school was canceled for national alcohol abuse awareness day and that they were coming to get her. May provide some entertainment.
pulore 3
That was awesome!!! Lol
emeraldisle 30
Sounds like you're used to this kind of thing. Sorry OP. That sucks.
iloveweed69 7
Take her beer away :/
AnagenisisZagus 13
....No.
Alli201103 3
You might as well give up on the conversation...
muckler 1
Awww. That really sucks. Sorry.
liftedyoda 5
You can never win against parents dont even waste your time
derkster 6
Lmao :):):)
The_Hitdude 12
That's actually not funny....at all.
Michael_92 20
So this is funny how? Would you laugh if you were the OP?
pulore 3
You try growing up with a parent whose an alcoholic. It's certainly not a laighing matter. Try to have a little compassion!
pulore 3
Sorry for my shitty grammer. I'm severely sleep deprived. I meant laughing.
crazyblackchick 0
Maybe she took a look at your grades and decided that you need night school, too. And then got drunk off her ass.
notsorandomguy 18
"I'm actually your granddaughter. You've been in a coma for 42 years."
DocBastard 40
Good for you that you're still going to school despite having a useless sack of booze-sodden garbage for a mother. It would be very easy for you to fall into a similar pit, but it seems like you're rising above it. Kudos to you, OP.
Niicky_fml 20
No one probably cares, but my mom has a HORRIBLE drinking problem and I stay in school so I won't end up like her.
drawmesunshine 17
Good for you, Niicky. As Snoopy says, "School is cool." (:
demonmonkey 13
Youre right. I don't care.
THE_A_TEEN 28
You don't care, but then you spend precious time for you to write that "you don't care". So either you care but pretended to not care, or you're really a heartless asshole. Either way, go **** yourself, demonmonkey...
THE_A_TEEN 28
You don't care, but then you spend precious time for you to write that "you don't care". So either you care but pretended to not care, or you're really a heartless asshole. Either way, go **** yourself, demonmonkey...