Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is "heavily pregnant." I'm just fat. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, I was wearing a new $500 dress on a crowded train. I looked great and I could feel the eyes on me. A cute guy then offered me his seat, only boosting my confidence more until he said "for you and the baby," pointing at a bump in my dress. I'm not pregnant and wasted $500. FML
Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
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Top comments
SailorButterfly 8
At least he was kind enough to offer his seat. And you saved him embarrassment by taking it instead of pointing out the error. I think the situation went as smoothly as it could. Maybe you can use this as your wake up call to finally get on a path to losing weight if it really bothered you. Mine was when I saw myself in a picture about 2 years ago...I was so big, my face looked like it was swollen from a bee sting or something. I was disgusted with myself, so I started doing something about it. 35 pounds lost so far. :)
xxmarlboroxx 0
bahaha you got a free seat and you're bitching about it? @5 grown up you jerk
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Comments (118)
Tandrael 0
ouch that sucks
TrekkieGirl 0
It doesn't suck, she took the seat and posted an FML about it...lol. Therefore, she couldn't have been too upset or offended by the gesture. Also, OP appearing pregnant even though your not, isn't exactly something to be proud of.
MrHighlight 0
"Also, OP appearing pregnant even though your not, isn't exactly something to be proud of." That's PROBABLY what the fml is about. She still deserves it for nicking his seat though. He might've been seriously handicapped, OP is just fat.
dofoos 0
maybe he was trying to be a gentleman and give his seat up for a lady
TheBeakie 0
Agree to #40 prob just being a good gentleman
TouchMyBody 1
Lay off the twinkies then...Or buy a bowflex
hotscar 3
unless she was too ashamed to admit it and just took the seat to cover it up
RevengeOnYou 0
Who cares if he thinks your pregnant. Free seat. Win all.
drummerboy0011 0
WTF that's what FML is for
Cambo9000 0
at least you got to sit
HeresReality 0
"I'm fat fml" here's an idea, how about you lose wait if being fat bothers you typing up an fml doesn't count as exercise by the way
KrissehFML 0
#1 is pretty xD
swantonboy96 0
ohh, burn, whered you get that joke from your dad telling your mom, listen i bet your like 9 or some shit like that, oh and by the way its 'weight' not 'wait', which makes me belive you're a nine year old... or at least have the mental capacity of one.
jme89 0
I always wanted to buy a bowflex
daflyinhawaiian 0
stop trollin
killerviral 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
u deserve it lose some weight
ktbird 0
agreed YDI for being fat
pongmaster 0
yeah true get on the treadmill at the gym but make sure to check that there aren't any young children around or anyone else that looks like they would get grossed out
yungjct 0
nice guy. appreciate what is right with the world, not what is wrong with yourself OP.
SadinSherman 16
You could have a private gym in your house.
illjusbedamned 0
Next time skip the bus. Walk instead.
Hapsap 0
eat less, move more.
demonic562 0
piggy piggy piggy oink oink u Fatass lose some weight
alexandraa_fml 0
Guffaw.
thetink 0
wow ur being really mean so people have to take meds and some of the side affects are weight gain how do u know that it why the are over weight and I bet ur a fat ass too! b••••
thetink 0
# 5 u need to stfu
musicmaniac0099 0
5- you jerk! you don't even know what she looks like. Weight doesn't have anything to do with personality & feelings! screw you (:
ned diggers 14
The morbidly obese deserve to be mocked.
xxmarlboroxx 0
bahaha you got a free seat and you're bitching about it? @5 grown up you jerk
faxe 0
maybe he just thought you were fat and could not support your own weight on moving bus.
scorpioserpent 1
lmao at #7! That's exactly what happened. YDI for being fat.
TomFantastic 0
To be fair on the guy he may have just been attempting to be chivalrous, so it's harsh for you to be feeling indignant concerning his kind action.
SailorButterfly 8
At least he was kind enough to offer his seat. And you saved him embarrassment by taking it instead of pointing out the error. I think the situation went as smoothly as it could. Maybe you can use this as your wake up call to finally get on a path to losing weight if it really bothered you. Mine was when I saw myself in a picture about 2 years ago...I was so big, my face looked like it was swollen from a bee sting or something. I was disgusted with myself, so I started doing something about it. 35 pounds lost so far. :)
kayvan 8
Great job, sailorbutterfly!
taradeborde87 3
#9, it's taken you TWO YEARS to lose 35 pounds?!?!
sulitak 27
sometimes loosing weight is an up and down battle. shut up 128 and congrats on the starting weightloss :)
PsychoMerk 0
You know... in theme parks they let cripples go to the front of the line. Use it to your advantage Chubs :} It counts as a disability ;p obviously since you're taking the bus and unable to walk for long!! >_>
kayvan 8
Time to hit the gym, eh?