Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was English, because I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I said yes. He then called me a liar, and said I must be "one of them Polish immigrants." Oh, and he also had a thick Scottish accent. FML
Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML
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Top comments
thatguynow 13
Throw tea in their face
challan 19
I'm dying to ask what country the tourist was from, but I'm petrified that you'll say the states.
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Comments (176)
aaronire 19
The thing is as native English speakers, our English is completely incorrect as we are subject to the curse of "spoken English", which grammatically speaking is incorrect.
KrDizzy 16
I like how it's assumed that they were American. Could have been Canadian, Austrailian, ect...
gracehi 33
I was thinking that too. As if America and England are the only English speaking countries in the world and dip ***** can only be from America.
iwadasn 33
I was thinking it was someone from a non-English-speaking country who learned a little English before visiting England. Talking to native speakers in a language you've only just learned can be difficult because the new learner usually speaks pretty formally, sticking to the grammar rules they've learned, while native speakers often use less formal language like improper grammar and slang.
sickerthanyou 13
I don't always speak English, but when I do, I go too England and piss on the native people about proper English.
aaron123111 11
I hate how tourists expect us to speak like "good day old chap, would one like tea and crumpets for ones luncheon"
bahklava 8
Was his name Henry Higgins?
babyseastar 5
"I, nor anyone else in my country," ***** That would have helped.
steal_this 8
They've probably been watching TOWIE and expected everyone to sahnd lark thaaat
ccubsfan94 1
It's because you don't. proper English is what Americans speak because back in the 1400 1500s you posh assholes made a new version so you didn't sound like the poor. The the poor moved to America and kicked your ass in war and now speak true English.
caxino 1
Technically, English from certain states and Canada is more accurate than England English, a couple hundred years ago, people in England would've sounded similar to Canadians due to the fact that we all spoke in a rhotic accent, eventually people in England felt the need to differentiate themselves from us and developed the non rhotic accent we know today. The more you know....
WildaRora 43
I saw a very interesting program on this! It's quite interesting.
thisismeliteraly 4
Maybe they are in Essex no one talks properly Essex.