Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML
Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML
Today, my friend's father got me mixed up with his new wife when telling stories for his wedding speech. Everyone noticed. The new wife was not pleased. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML
Today, my dad had a chat with my fiancé, telling him he can do better than me, and to think carefully before going through with our wedding. FML
Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
Screw those people. You're going on a honeymoon with your new wife.
iBluePancake 4
Lol hangover 2 .. Anyone??
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Comments (68)
StoryOfTheYear 15
Screw those people. You're going on a honeymoon with your new wife.
thejewishfuhrer 17
And on that honeymoon he can screw his new wife.
deliciouscake 3
first
SmallBean 12
Who said anything about them even having a honeymoon?
Keyman1212 14
And just think of how screwed up her father is gonna be when you tell him all the details! AmIrite! No? Okay...... No but in all seriousness, I know it sounds lame, but when I do get married to the girl of my dreams, I know I won't be as good as her, and I would agree with her father. Good thing Phil likes me and wouldn't say that about me... (That's her dad's name, not just some random strange man's name, in case you weren't wondering, seeing as you don't give a shit about my love life.)
StoryOfTheYear 15
28- Sorry for assuming. :,(
lifeguardd 0
Shut the the f--k up keyman
Keyman1212 14
Are you scared of being moderated for saying ****? **** **** fuckity ****. The website is called "**** my life." ******* use ****, or don't ******* use it at all. ******* censoring the word **** doesn't give the word it's full mean. I mean ****, how hard can it ******* be?
SmallBean 12
1. That's quite alright, it could've happened to anyone.
lifeguardd 0
You're a f--king No life ****** spilling his love on the internet when noone gives a f--k about it.. Censoring is the f--king shit!!
GovernorGeneral 8
39 who are you saying that to?...
_kfchicken 4
Well good you're marrying up, he's just mad he didn't get to do the same
Keyman1212 14
Alan, you're normally up at this ungodly hour, could you be so kind as to remove my earlier comment about censoring words, and I suppose this one will have to go as well. Or anyone of the Demigod's that roam FML at this time of night I know you're there. Shit you guys are quick.
GovernorGeneral 8
< --
laden_swallow09 35
30 - You're right. No one gives a shit about your love life. Keep that very personal, sappy stuff to yourself. Guy code.
Kyzahhh 7
In the words of OP "and we are going to do it ALLLLLLL night long!"
JacobWithaY 5
Is your new wife one of the people that agreed? No? Then who cares? They're just jealous
brndnzchry 1
30-Cool story
jroxursox1 10
You don't have to be so rude. He is sharing his feelings about the woman that he cares about and loves and a guy that can do that is an amazing one in my book.
alsgirl 24
@30: Y'know you could have just said "he" instead of Phil, and saved yourself all the explaining....
blushy 14
welcome to the family
Harpy20 24
Damn. Better luck next time??
cosmosis 12
He is married now. Why would there be a need for a second wedding reception?
ladyLALAA 29
When she realizes what everyone has been saying? Bit mean though, what a douche!
fancyclown 9
5, Ross from Friends could explain that one to you.
fancyclown 9
14*
cosmosis 12
54 im probably going to get much hate on here... But ive never watched an episode of friends. Shows like that bore me to tears...
eatsleepjb 8
I love friends!
PrincessesCrown 17
Friends is the best I like Joey!
ImInYourFACEbook 8
65- Yes, you are getting hate. But I don't think you should get thumbed down for your opinion so I will hate from a distance. >:)
iBluePancake 4
Lol hangover 2 .. Anyone??
johnnysky 0
Hangover 2 was shit. It was the exact same movie as the first one.
KaanTech 0
87, That's why it is called hungover 2 It would be called hungover 2: recovering drug additives if the movie was different Still not so many people think like you, most of the people including me liked the second movie Shut up and be forgetten in history.... (I think I gone little far with the last sentence)
SuperKnuckels 6
i think peanutbutter is best on toast.
sud4 1
After reading 104's reply I had to check and see what the comment was again
Jaxx66 21
Congratulations on your marriage! Just ignore them, if she loves you that's all that counts!
kateheartswaffle 0
I really could not tell what the heck your display picture was for a moment. It's a kitty. Everyone loves kitties.
boofgall 16
How could you not tell from even the mini Picture? Damn blondes.
Amrel 10
The blonde stereotype is wrong... In most cases...
laden_swallow09 35
How could you possibly make out a goatse from that?
Jaxx66 21
Lol. It's a close up of my sleeping kitty. I have an issue with thinking she's my personal Nermal...
ImYoursAlways 3
Obviously she loves you, and that's all that matters. Enjoy your honeymoon.
xSonic 9
Well you chose her, and she chose you. All that matters
I_Punch_Babies 7
i wouldve retaliated by saying "she may be too good for me but im still gonna hit that tonight!"
Amrel 10
OP even though his family hates you, and you probably hate your bastard father-in-law just keep in mind your screwing his daughter
Meowingtons500 18
Ouch. At least you love eachother. That's really the most important thing. :)
RuCheezBurger 10
As long as she loves you, as far as I'm concerned you're going to have a great life with your new wife :)
lrgenesis 19
Why is this thumbed down?? I totally agree! That'd be so embarrassing for everyone to agree in front of everyone else, but they're really just saying OP picked a winner:)