Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was English, because I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I said yes. He then called me a liar, and said I must be "one of them Polish immigrants." Oh, and he also had a thick Scottish accent. FML
Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thatguynow 13
Throw tea in their face
challan 19
I'm dying to ask what country the tourist was from, but I'm petrified that you'll say the states.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (176)
destinyisdead 5
My mother in law, believes that the US was here first, England copied us and screwed everything up. oh, and that they can't even speak english right. Then again, she didn't finish middle school. I would think the tourist was her, but she's so screwed up she can't leave her house.
Brightbulb 40
#59- I did, and seeing as I'm an American, people still claim I speak improperly. A person just cannot win; no matter if they know the full dynamic of the language and cultural idioms, or if they simply speak what they learned through exposer.
cjlerch 29
Yeah, Americans are taught differently. Doesn't change the fact that America is about 60% full of idiots who think they're better than everyone else. Sad, but true. FYL :/
commandercolbert 6
no one likes tourists so its ok
orangeeminem 9
Wow, people.
daboar 5
Lol, they must be Americans
Luigi2012SM64DS 6
I'm not understanding the situation here?
121179 7
it's just as bad as how Americans think Canadians all talk like we're from Newfoundland.
kayray11 14
English came from England, anyways.
Meanmommy02 11
I don't speak "English" I speak American there is a huge difference! All languages have varying dialect depending on area but in the states it's not "English"
Raesin 21
So you speak English with some kind of American accent. You still speak English. And this is why the rest of the world thinks Americans are stupid.