Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML
Today, my mom mentioned how she loves a certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was English, because I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I said yes. He then called me a liar, and said I must be "one of them Polish immigrants." Oh, and he also had a thick Scottish accent. FML
Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML
Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML
Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML
Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, I went through a fast-food drive-thru and gave my order in a perfect British accent for fun. When I got to the window, the cashier handed me my food and said, "I love your accent!" Caught off guard, I replied, "Oh, thanks a lot!" in my normal New Jersey accent. The confusion on her face was priceless. FML
Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to talk with a British accent during my job interview to make me sound smarter. I'm applying for a job at McDonald's. FML
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Top comments
Keevarou 17
Tsk tsk, some people, just tell them straight that you are indeed British and such. Not your fault that you talk the way you do, some people like to notice the smallest things. I hope you are not self conscious about the way you talk.. Good thing it was not worse though, they could have commented the way you walk or something Or the way you breathe
BFons 19
What a wanker.
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Comments (142)
ChampionKO 6
dunkey?
Freethaawave 19
Whatttttt?
RaggleFrock 13
I wish someone would ask that question to Madonna.
ICastillo 25
Drunky?
sigurd 11
RIP Dunkey.
Keevarou 17
Tsk tsk, some people, just tell them straight that you are indeed British and such. Not your fault that you talk the way you do, some people like to notice the smallest things. I hope you are not self conscious about the way you talk.. Good thing it was not worse though, they could have commented the way you walk or something Or the way you breathe
ColdplaySucks 18
What I don't get is why people think others would fake an accent to begin with.
EnterSandman_fml 20
21- It's because a Russian accent will get more YouTube views on gun videos than an American one. Also because my girlfriend thinks its sexy when I do an impression of an Irish accent.
Mossears133 15
21- because accents are sexy!
FML_Whale 18
It might be just me, but I don't think they sell bottles of tea in soda machines.
bonkers_becca 10
us 'brits' dont call people asscandles :/
little_one 20
Nestea? No never heard of it?
octopussperm125 18
Im a dude with a really high pitched aisan wonan's voice
maosquare 18
Yes 56, because we only go around calling people wankers, and drink tea at every single possible moment.
EandL_fml 2
oh then you don't know my FIL 127! that man has to "murder" a cup of tea every half an hour I swear. and he says wanker describing most people. lol but really English people don't drink iced tea and that is what comes out of vending machines in the US, not hot tea
BFons 19
What a wanker.
gc327072 31
"That lobcock shouldn't be there!" "Well it IS there, Mister Faulkner."
ZackST 6
u wot m8
boarderlyne17 8
57 - i dr4nk eh the9m f5ur u. Translation: What the ****, man?
Googolman 29
Maybe, if you speak in an American accent, people will think it's also "obviously fake", and you can go back to your British accent.
KatieEvelyn 6
That's actually a really good idea. Haha.
imyy 20
What the bloody hell did you tell him then? Hope it was brilliant!
thebaddayblues 3
No, it's Australian!
beehardxcore 26
Hahaha, just start using a bad accent from another country. :]
Steve95401 49
Borat's accent from Kazakstan would work.
red_headforlife 15
Just ignore it. Unfortunately, a lot of people in this world are idiots.
Fuhkyoo 17
its cause everyone's used to those shitty fake ones you hear so often
MeLikeBigBoom 8
Then tell them that you actually are British and need to stop being so rude. Problem solved. :)
Demonfish 14
You're rather optimistic, aren't you.