Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was English, because I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I said yes. He then called me a liar, and said I must be "one of them Polish immigrants." Oh, and he also had a thick Scottish accent. FML
Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML
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Top comments
thatguynow 13
Throw tea in their face
challan 19
I'm dying to ask what country the tourist was from, but I'm petrified that you'll say the states.
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Comments (176)
yellowzinnias 20
Oh lud, this reminds me of when I visited the UK this summer. It was my first time out of the country, and being a huge Anglophile I loved EVERYTHING. I even tried the black pudding (though I can't say I cared for it.) On day two I was in line to purchase a day pass at the tube station, when I heard a woman in front of me with a very thick U.S. Southern accent (I am from a lower Midwestern state that many people mistake for the South) telling the clerk, "the hotel accidentally put some baked beans on my plate this mornin'! That's just groooooss!" I wanted to laugh SO badly, and I felt terrible for the clerk who just stuttered a bit and got her ticket quickly. At London-Heathrow to head home, I was waiting to check in while the couple behind me were discussing their intended visit to the currency exchange to trade their GBP for U.S. dollars. Woman: We have twenty pounds, so that's just twenty dollars, right?" Man: "Yeah, it's like, exactly the same. I don't know why they have to call it something different, like it isn't." That time I couldn't keep quiet. I turned and politely informed them that the current exchange rate was approximately $1.53. I won't say that I think my fellow Americans were the worst tourists I met (a group of Bulgarian adults were thrown out of the British Museum while I was touring because they wouldn't stop climbing on the statues for pictures after being asked -- in English AND Bulgarian -- multiple times) but I certainly understand why we're apparently dreaded.
JohnTheLad 13
Hopefully, it wasn't an American.
JudgeComrade 17
In 'Murrica, we speak 'murrican. And in Australia, they speak upside-down English.
classybender321 4
your people invented the ******* language that idiot needs to be educated
carmagnet 11
The aluminum aluminium thing bugs me. I'm scottish. I live in Canada. It's still aluminium!
Krisssss_fml 0
I doubt that the problem would be the accent. When I first learned English I couldn't tell the difference between an American, Canadian, British or Australian accent. Hearing accents is one of the last things you master when learning a language - at least from my experience.
simsgirlgem 25
I am so sorry op not all of us are ******* idiots like the Tourist I blame the school system now a days I mean a lot of kids can't point to the USA on a map or New York either and that's just sad
guttedbrit 26
They were probably expecting posh but they were disappointed when our real accents came out.
KoolKidKarson 3
******* Brits. Go **** yourselves all of you. The English language is completely ****** and your country is full of inbred toothless retards. I speak American. It sounds dumb but we don't speak with our English twats we use are mouths like the rest of the world. Take the crown and shove it up your ass. Nobody in America gives a shit about your royal collection of fucktards. Stop sending your shit singers to America we don't like them. Why can't they make money there? Because nobody likes you. Your the scum of the world and the only thing your destined to be is fat sandwich eating slobs. So **** off because the only way I'm going to ever be in England is if I someday own the whole ******* island!
amypr 20
If you want to get technical, *he/she is. Pretty sure we're talking about one tourist, right? :)