Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML
Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
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Top comments
purplemagda 0
similar thing happened to me, I'm English and moved to America and was told that my English was amazing considering I'd just moved to America from England. Turns out the girl thought that the national language of Europe was French.
NerdChick 0
No, it could entirely be true. A tourist who asked me directions told me that I spoke very good English. Uhm, I was born in Canada, spoke English my entire life and have a degree in English literature?
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Comments (43)
csigabajnok 0
But are you American? :)
greenman_fml 0
God Bless America
DeesFMLs 0
Most americans are idiots. Just saying...
folfg0 12
Thank you for Stereotyping Americans as idiots. Makes me feel sooo much better about the world and knowing there's good people like to in it.
d_dh2310 0
what an asshole.
purplemagda 0
similar thing happened to me, I'm English and moved to America and was told that my English was amazing considering I'd just moved to America from England. Turns out the girl thought that the national language of Europe was French.
LadyMadness 11
I know, exact same thing happened to me except the teacher didn't know that people in England spoke English some people are just naturally stupid I guess
aoife123 0
I laughed at both of these stories! how dumb can some people get :P
terranada 3
You should've told your teacher "...my country (England) INVENTED the English language!"
noodlesandsauce 0
LOL @ 9 Most of the Americans I´ve met can´t speak properly.
AnnaSeptic 0
@9, People should not be allowed to be that stupid. I hate when people say Americans can't speak properly. Like, what does that even mean? Is it our slang, our accents, incorrect grammar?? Haha I get so self-conscious when I talk to foreigners. I always feel like I'm annoying them.
writerajere 0
AMERICA, F*** YEAH!!!
averageirishman 0
freedom is the only way!
stolencookie 17
The correct grammar for this would be, "American ****, yeah?"
MetalCraze 11
I don't believe this happened to you I think you just wanted to start america bashing
NerdChick 0
No, it could entirely be true. A tourist who asked me directions told me that I spoke very good English. Uhm, I was born in Canada, spoke English my entire life and have a degree in English literature?
princesskitten 0
Are you not American? If you look foreign or have an accent he probably just stupidly assumed you hadn't lived in America long. Otherwise, your English must be pretty freaking bad.