Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I cried while masturbating because I genuinely couldn't think of a single person that would fuck me in real life. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML
Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML
Today, I noticed that my weekend hobby is crying. I live in a city where I don't have a single friend or relative. FML
Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
phantumgrey 6
Watch **** and then you'll be in an orgy. No more forever alone
horrorfield 6
That happens to me too :( except I AM a little bitch. Probably why I'm lonely..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
needsagf14 12
That's not lonely. That's a mental issue bro
Treyzania 16
Well that happens to me, except not that severely...
onorexveritas 24
find a ******* girlfriend then! damn
kalel01260 1
Maybe you could get a date if you stopped using phrases like "like a little bitch."
mosiz 3
Get a job where you have to work really hard hard(physically) or do some really laborious yard work. The best cure for a saddened human is labor... it's counter-intuitive I know.
kzai 16
Awwww :/
wanderingshopper 13
T M I Who okayed this one???
someguy314159265 15
You will probably never find a relationship, so there is no use crying. You simply need to learn to embrace your solitude.
IsRaeliPrinCess 8
That's horribly sad :/
lielkolet 3
I've been there.