Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I cried while masturbating because I genuinely couldn't think of a single person that would fuck me in real life. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML
Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML
Today, I noticed that my weekend hobby is crying. I live in a city where I don't have a single friend or relative. FML
Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML
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Top comments
phantumgrey 6
Watch **** and then you'll be in an orgy. No more forever alone
horrorfield 6
That happens to me too :( except I AM a little bitch. Probably why I'm lonely..
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Comments (107)
ninjacow123 6
Get some confidence. Then you will get women
Epikouros 32
And where do you expect him to buy confidence? In a liquor store?
LarryLaDouche 13
eBay
momoegan 4
Sucks to suck
xeka 10
:((
xmaximusx 12
Little needy don't ya think ?
jedawi 13
Sorry bro. It means its time for a change and hey the only way is up from where you are. Good luck!
fresh247 10
just do it in the dark
akiahara 14
Tears don't make the best lubricant.
coldsteelstu 4
that probably explains why your alone.
itsbrandoyo 12
Blah
agentaquamarine 4
Now, now. Wouldn't want OP to have a legitimate reason to hate himself, would we?