Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I made a pot of chili. My wife came home, sniffed the air, and said, "You're sleeping in the guest room until you eat all that chili. You fart like a trucker and I can't sleep." FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML
Today, getting tired of my usual turkey/tuna salad/chicken sandwiches, I made a pot of soup to take to work for lunch. My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to forage for snacks, spilled it all over the floor, and woke me up to clean it. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, I went to make chilli and instead of just using 3 cups of water like the recipe called for, I ended up using 3 quarts somehow. Now I have a pot of hot and spicy meat water. FML
Today, I lovingly simmered a chicken carcass, vegetables and spices to make soup. Two hours it took. After all that, I mindlessly strained out the chicken bones and let the soup pour straight down the sink. FML
Today, after a week of working 18-hour days, I finally sat down to eat more than a sandwich. Unfortunately my kitchen has become a mess and I bypassed the clean bowl I'd put on the counter and ate my ice cream out of the cat's dirty food bowl. FML
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
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Top comments
danpaddy 7
I think the replacement will be a cat and black bean chilli. FYL op.
irwingiggles 26
And that's why I always locked up my cat in the living room while cooking. I hope for you that the family gathering wasn't ruined
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Comments (57)
danpaddy 7
I think the replacement will be a cat and black bean chilli. FYL op.
irwingiggles 26
And that's why I always locked up my cat in the living room while cooking. I hope for you that the family gathering wasn't ruined
Candijpg 17
looks like you won't be the only one going to the toilet
DashPlays 18
Cats are EVIL
alanvazquez1 13
Agreed
whysojealous 18
Nah I'd say that cat was a determined badass who wanted food no matter the consequences or the rules it broke
CaptMacLeod 45
Thanksgiving. Turkey had just been pulled out of the oven, sitting on the door. One of the cats braved the still-hot oven door, grabbed the bird, and tried to drag it under the sideboard. I totally feel you here.
Mauskau 36
My cat stole a raw bratwurst from under the grill. I still haven't forgiven him for the time he made me drop a steak which he ran off with. :<
melons 44
What a catastrophe!
Ayasha_fml 12
You made a good pun 12, though it's too big of a word for them to understand or read. Thus the downvotes.
ssnow_fml 20
This is why dogs are better. They will spill the chili and then eat it and at least look and feel guilty.
skyttlz 32
How is that any better?
holly_fly 34
Because cats won't even show an ounce of remorse. And if you try to punish them by saying "bad cat" they usually just hiss... And pee on your laptop.
whysojealous 18
#21 the issue isn't whether the animal felt sorry or not it's whether the animal knocks over the food as that's the point of the fml
redscarf_fml 8
Was it not hot? How did that poor cat not get burned in the act?
Big_D_Real 12
Poor cat? It's the one that knocked the pot over. I hope it was scalding hot.
0262944 15
lmaoo yesss. I hate cats with a burning hatred in my heart.
necklacethief 23
Hope the other food you had was enough and didn't ruin your event!
marcelmg 10
5 seconds rule! No problem....