anonymous
United States
Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Barney
Thunder Bay, Canada
The Voice
Today, I was alone in the kitchen doing the dishes, and I started singing along to my favorite song when it came on my playlist. However, unbeknownst to me, my neighbors were having a barbecue next door, and they cheered and applauded when I'd finished. I’m never singing again. FML
Anonymous
Lille, France
Lost in music
Today, I wore noise-canceling headphones while cleaning my apartment. Apparently I'd been singing at the top of my lungs for nearly an hour, because my neighbor knocked on my door just to ask if everything was OK. FML
Adrian16
Norway
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
superhero1043
United States
Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML
inappropes
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
"If I could turn back time…"
Today, I came into work early to clean equipment, with my headphones on, singing to myself. I lost track of time, and wound up with the entire office watching me belt tunes out. FML
Ricky
United States
Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML
bathroomgirl
United States
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Anonymous
Vancouver, Canada
Background noise
Today, I was feeling lonely, so I turned on my Roomba for some "company." Five minutes in, it got stuck under the couch and started crying for help. Now I’m comforting an appliance because I feel bad for mistreating it. I need therapy. FML
Jdogg
Home alone
Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
Stage Fright
The Voice
Today, my roommate eavesdropped on me singing. When I realized he was there, he said I was "fucking incredible" and asked me to do another song. There's just one issue: I only sing well when I'm alone. The result was predictably bad. If it was possible to literally die of embarrassment, I wouldn't be writing this. FML
Top comments
trellz17 19
Oh please I do that too. Plus no one can hear you singing over the vacuum.
VannahJane 17
Im sure it was beautiful OP
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Comments (65)
rara_boo 7
At least you can sing.
SmoothSeth 10
"And for the next talent, a guy who can sing with his vacuum" LOL WUT
AKGirlinSD 20
I wasn't even thinking about OP's talent. I'm impressed that he/she can self entertain. That's a rare trait these days.
JenkJenks 6
I'm struggling to see how singing with your vacuum equals loneliness. We all do weird things to make chores suck less.
RedPillSucks 33
I'm struggling to understand how you sing with your vaccuum. rrruuuhhhh ruuuuhhhhh ???? ruuuuhhhh ruuuuuhhhh ruuuuuhhhh yuuuuhhhh booaaaatttt ???
AKGirlinSD 20
If OP is musically inclined, he/she can find a tune in any sounds. I do it all the time but only sing in my head. Or he/she is just humming to the same tones as the vacuum cleaner. The loneliness is that he/she would rather talk or hang out with someone/friend than sing along with his/her vacuum cleaner.
EsotericBrent 29
When I worked in the produce section of a grocery store, I would sometimes hum at the same frequency of the fridge/freezer that we kept the food in. Glad I'm not the only one ^.^
NeatNit 33
how do you even do that
NickaPLZ 26
It's easy. Just listen to the note and try a lower or higher one. Usually in thirds from the original note.
lilhellian 27
You can harmonize with almost anything with in reason.. Not hard at all.
ilovedinosawers 17
Very carefully.
ColdplaySucks 18
Probably in the lines of this: VURRRRRRRRR...
evamusical 12
It's not that hard... I do this too, OP, you're not the only one!
AKGirlinSD 20
20, I'm impressed that you mentioned chord and/or chord triads!
poetrywriter12 6
Well that must be a very sucky situation for you. To feel like you're in a vacuum with no one else.
Legendslayer222 26
Why is this thumbed down? Did people miss the puns, or just not find them funny?
MyLifeSucks_You 8
Ben?
TwoOneFive 11
Bill?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Bob?
RoboCunnilingus 23
Brad?
21jason 9
Caine? Oh damn it missed it by that much
icryevrytime 7
actually is Dolan
Old unused 13
Brady?
VannahJane 17
Im sure it was beautiful OP
Freethaawave 19
And now OP's house is looking spick and span, I bet.
armonicavita 13
Go out and mingle :)
Finola7 16
Was it a Henry Hoover with a face?:)
obviousboy 8
I realized how much I hated my job when I discovered how much I'd rather be at home, attempting to harmonize with appliances.
Freethaawave 19
Can I get a witness!?
trellz17 19
Oh please I do that too. Plus no one can hear you singing over the vacuum.
perdix 31
#13, yes, we can. We just don't have the heart to tell you. We're just waiting for you to audition for "American Idol" so you can humiliate yourself on national TV.
trellz17 19
That's cruel yet understandable
Catkam623 27
You know I hear going outside Is a good thing to do also