Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
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Top comments
jimmyweee 0
Ha, you swallowed the wrong thing.
BlackWolfVII 0
Should've practiced on a banana first. Girls. *Facepalm*
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Comments (217)
Blind_Ninja 0
That sucks. I really don't understand why you would "freak out," though. If you pulled it off (or, more correctly in this case, put it on), it would have been hot. I'd love for a girl to do that trick on me if she knows what the **** she's doing. Putting on a condom always kills the momentum of sex for me.
brkn_hearted 0
i totally understand where you're coming from #116, but if it was done to me, definitely would've kept me going :) but A for effort, D- for implementation
BluEG0pher 0
that's a scanky way to put a condom on......
BabiiexElmo 0
OH WOW!!!! Are you okay?
Karnezar 2
My school didn't teach us how to put condoms on, they just told us to wait till marriage, and to use a condom. Contradictions FTW! And putting a condom on with your mouth sounds kinky o.0
hashismoments 0
dam! must of been awkward for the boyfriend! haha.
Bojana 6
Simply told, you are an idiot
animaguskid 2
why are some of you attacking her for doing something kinky? This is her boyfriend not some random person. That's kind of cool that she wanted to do something like that for him to spice things up. To bad it didn't go so well. Be more careful next time I guess.
countrygurl 0
ahahahahaha wow that's hilarious...kinda sucks but so funny!
summer66_fml 0
that sucks.....