Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
Today, while my husband and I were having sex, we were trying this strawberry flavored lube which had a very strong candy smell. My husband starts laughing mid-performance, looks me in the eye, and exclaims "F*CK THE RAINBOW, TASTE THE RAINBOW!" FML
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
At least you'd make it on 1000 Ways To Die.
dantee2005 33
Well, nothing for me to say "cockcicle" says it all
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Comments (128)
Welshite 40
Should've tried cherry instead.
zBLAKEz 23
I've heard they all taste the same though.
sunshine41196 12
then what's the point of the numerous flavours? ^^^
Welshite 40
Shall we sponsor a FML taste test then? It's only official once we get a majority vote.
sunshine41196 12
game on! if we get the votes
euphoricness 28
My favorite flavor of Popsicle is dick!
\ 28
#24 You need to call Maury Povich.
swaggalikethat 22
We should do that. I'll be the one that wears the condoms.
sunshine41196 12
^^ despo! we neede the votes remember!
meepmerp 20
Woooah, we have the same picture
jayceejaco 15
Mine too #24!
crap_that_sucks 9
Strawberry flavored condoms. That's amazing!
caohm 18
at least you weren't like the other fml where the girl bite off more than she could chew literally and almost figuratively.
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
I never understood the concept of flavored condoms. A ****** can't taste them. And having one on while receiving fellatio seems like it would do no justice to either party. The taste of rubber, and 0 sensation. Am I missing out on something?
caysters 12
I have the same thoughts on condoms during oral too! Same with flavored lubes. I don't want slime in my mouth, or the taste of rubber.
AKAR2521 4
personally never used them, but maybe some people use them so they dont get unwanted stuff in their mouth while doing 'fellatio'
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
82. If you wear one to begin with for the right reason. Then you won't get 'stuff' on your penis. And you won't have to wear them for the wrong and awkward reasons. While receiving fellatio.
Madster15 14
flavoured condoms also leave flavour behind in the female's bits, so when the male does oral to her it tastes like strawberry or banana or chocolate, whichever tickles your fancy.
8313girl 28
I could be wrong #77 but I heard it's like eating a fruit roll up
Siererrr 13
It does! But why do people give head with condoms on anyway?
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
Point taken 88
dreamsneverfall 8
People give oral sex wirh condoms to avoid STD's such as Herpes, HPV, Gonnorhea, Chlamydia, and Syphilis.
BrotherPhil 35
Because they don't. like the taste of spunk?
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
105. People wear condoms during sex to avoid those too. Ultimately, condoms were designed as a method of birth control. Not a STD preventative. It just happens to be a multi-function tool
jayceejaco 15
They taste pretty amazing... It's like you get candy and sex at the same time
KayleeFrye 39
Maybe because most STD's can be caught through oral contact as well as intercourse. YA THINK?
metallica_wins 20
At least you'd make it on 1000 Ways To Die.
cakefete2 31
Way to die number 478, "in too deep".
JennyK1414 13
hahahha!! yessss.
Callilah 13
Best comment!
metallica_wins 20
Why thank you.
Dpac7 19
CCD?
UrYousername 15
Was it that small?
Puffgurl 6
I think she ment it was big
dantee2005 33
Well, nothing for me to say "cockcicle" says it all
bellebe1998 16
strawberry cockcicle....
Turrence 9
At least you're trying..
thestrangedude 10
At least it wasn't a Brie stick
Nyx_fml 23
I'm sure your boyfriend can't complain!
Puffgurl 6
I laughed so hard at this omg I'm not sure wether that would be a good or bad thing but "cockcicle" omg I might use that someday lol
JMichael 26
You're a cockcicle.
iknowiwantyou 13
seems like you enjoyed it more than your boyfriend.