Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
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Top comments
jimmyweee 0
Ha, you swallowed the wrong thing.
BlackWolfVII 0
Should've practiced on a banana first. Girls. *Facepalm*
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Comments (217)
shytehe 0
THATS ******* HILARIOUS!
Rolhay 0
ROFL!
Scorponok 0
You're an idiot, use your hands.
tarheelCYA12 0
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!!
FarSide 23
A lot of idiot comments here. First, you are doing it wrong. Second, I would have pimp slapped you for even thinking about putting on a condom. Do I put a glove on before I fist you? No. Third, if you really like him, and want to show your sexual prowness, put the condom over your butthole, and let HIM put it on his willy without using your hands. That will show you really care.
J_Blaze2000 0
atleast you get a A for effort...Haha
XxN0h0pexX 0
srry but thats kinda funny
memmer66 0
Its called mad skills, you don't have them.
heidi101 0
ive actually tried putting on condoms with my mouth.. ots pretty hard.
sum_blak_dude 0
Well it could be worse but I think it's a FML for him. Today, my girlfriend wanted to show me a new trick to spice things up in our relationship. She was trying to a put a condom on me using only her mouth. She ended up choking on it, and I didn't get any sex. FML.