Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
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Top comments
jimmyweee 0
Ha, you swallowed the wrong thing.
BlackWolfVII 0
Should've practiced on a banana first. Girls. *Facepalm*
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Comments (217)
KickMeInTheNadz 0
whatta dumb bitch. im sorry. /:
gotsnow 0
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
trapiadora 0
Wow thiers some freaky people on fml. Hahahah and it sucks put you should of thought about it bettre and it sounds like you may have been nervous and stuff. But over all thier are always wierd stories like this when it comes to sex you just got to be mature enough to handle them.
taylor17lover 0
hahahaha wow. nice one. ur not even supposed to do that
smallshattered 0
owned
Caz_Norfe 0
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAH
Diligent17 4
Ok I applaud you for attempted to be sexy for your boyfriend and all. But remember safety first.
nikii 0
...laaame.
klutzilla1275 0
this is actually ridiculous... who the eff does that? its one thing to put it on like that (stupid) but to choke on it? you must be completely special for that.
Shotgun_shawn_6 0
comdom application FAIL!