Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my hubby a hand massage as he's beginning to deal with carpal tunnel issues. He then proceeded to tell me, and I quote, "This is the consequences of not properly stretching as a young guy. I did stretch pussy though." FML
Today, my SO almost passed out during sex due to his lack of physical activity. I've forced him to start going to the gym. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
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Top comments
BlueMoonCafe 12
Better safe than sorry.
SWC_Penguin 17
Let me guess. He doesn't stretch but rather sits and watches YOU stretch.
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Comments (113)
FightMyLiger 19
Wow. He must be huge!
solosohigh 15
well, it's not the worst idea. the reverse cowgirl can really kill the quadriceps.
tralala453 22
He's taking safe sex a little too seriously.
elizacandle 29
Boo hoo. I have a boyfriend who wants to have sex with me and cares for my safety.
bushyyboy 11
The hip rotation!
ulquiorra102 10
Safety first! :D
Xotoolyxo 16
At least you know now the sex will be good
shortandproud13 14
Lol! Kinda sounds like my boyfriend, but I know he wants me to be more flexible for him ;)
MedChew 19
I suspect a fetish going on here
perdix 31
He's a good guy -- he's doing it more for you than himself. If we have any swelling down there, that just makes it bigger and that's a good thing. You won't be much fun with a pulled cooter.