Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my hubby a hand massage as he's beginning to deal with carpal tunnel issues. He then proceeded to tell me, and I quote, "This is the consequences of not properly stretching as a young guy. I did stretch pussy though." FML
Today, my SO almost passed out during sex due to his lack of physical activity. I've forced him to start going to the gym. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
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Top comments
BlueMoonCafe 12
Better safe than sorry.
SWC_Penguin 17
Let me guess. He doesn't stretch but rather sits and watches YOU stretch.
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Comments (113)
DocBastard 40
That's always a good idea, especially before doing the Reverse Compound Giraffe. You may also want to put on a hard hat.
klovemachine 24
stretching before doing the wheelbarrow is also a good idea :-D
Wimoweh 10
The wheelbarrow isn't nearly as strenuous, or rewarding, as completing a full Reverse Compound Giraffe, however.
niggaman95 8
I hope I'm not the only person who tried to see if that was an actual position..
s_reel16 16
At least you know he cares!
chanellgymnast 17
Safety comes first!
\ 28
On her face...! :)
limitedition 25
Your bf is getting you ready for some hardcore loving. This isn't a fyl - you've got a good one there OP!
nerdlove422 14
Way to set the mood
seniorchang 16
This guy is a silver tongued genius! Not only did he talk you into sex but also into exercising with him. Did you also give him money and cook him breakfast too?
miyaviichan 27
I don't see anything wrong with it. I know I always get a leg or foot cramp during sex anyway.
jrod9327 17
I can't say that I've had that. I feel like such an under achiever haha.
Wizzlbang 10
Good, nothing kills the mood like spraining something during sex.
doctor_glitter 6
well you gotta stretch if you're gonna go fast.
larsak 3
Don't breed with him
Jaxx66 21
Right. because its horrible to take care of your body.. Children would not benefit from having healthy parents, that promote taking care of muscles!