Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my hubby a hand massage as he's beginning to deal with carpal tunnel issues. He then proceeded to tell me, and I quote, "This is the consequences of not properly stretching as a young guy. I did stretch pussy though." FML
Today, my SO almost passed out during sex due to his lack of physical activity. I've forced him to start going to the gym. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
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Top comments
BlueMoonCafe 12
Better safe than sorry.
SWC_Penguin 17
Let me guess. He doesn't stretch but rather sits and watches YOU stretch.
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Comments (113)
Druu 53
There was only one thing he wanted you to pull..
PhotoSmith 25
Cramping does ruin the fun. My wife makes me stretch too.
SmiffLah 13
What was it he, ahem, wanted you to stretch?
Kkkdawg 27
Well, since it sounds like you didn't want to, ydi for letting anyone force you into doing anything
liftthatchevy 7
What's the fun in that? Never a spur the moment thing
nikolkaw 9
Don't be crying to him if you have cramps ;) there will only be an "I told you so." waiting for you!
CupOTea666 9
How old are you that you need to stretch?
virgochick_922 6
You know, that's actually not a bad idea.
StrugsNotDrugs 19
Gotta keep up with your daily sexercises ;P
nognom 2
No offense but are you/him that out of shape that stretching is required...