Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my hubby a hand massage as he's beginning to deal with carpal tunnel issues. He then proceeded to tell me, and I quote, "This is the consequences of not properly stretching as a young guy. I did stretch pussy though." FML
Today, my SO almost passed out during sex due to his lack of physical activity. I've forced him to start going to the gym. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BlueMoonCafe 12
Better safe than sorry.
SWC_Penguin 17
Let me guess. He doesn't stretch but rather sits and watches YOU stretch.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (113)
trexlilian 1
Nothing wrong with stretching. I know my gf can get into some nifty positions that arent that tough but still put strain on the thighs and hamstrings. You stretch so you can do it again that much sooner or so they wont be sore the next day. I try to get her to stretch, she still resists
fatlemonjefferso 8
If this the worst that your life brings you, you're incredibly lucky.
Tall_Enough 10
nothing ruins the mood like a pulled muscle.
bryan788 29
If you need to stretch before and after that is a good sign you are doing it right.
purebliss_fml 19
Aww, just showing he cares about you! Maybe with a few stretches he thinks you two might be able to re-enact a few of those positions he's been umm... Researching .....
lexi365 20
At least he cares OP.
theandrewdays 2
Now that is some safe sex!
Kyle_Kawi27 7
Its for your own benefit
stoneYa 8
idk wtf r u tking abt
worldclassrager 41
A good stretch is always good once and awhile...hey it might actually be smarter than you think...