Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my hubby a hand massage as he's beginning to deal with carpal tunnel issues. He then proceeded to tell me, and I quote, "This is the consequences of not properly stretching as a young guy. I did stretch pussy though." FML
Today, my SO almost passed out during sex due to his lack of physical activity. I've forced him to start going to the gym. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
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Top comments
BlueMoonCafe 12
Better safe than sorry.
SWC_Penguin 17
Let me guess. He doesn't stretch but rather sits and watches YOU stretch.
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Comments (113)
PurpleKicks 22
always remember, safety comes first kids! =)
Songokuu9000 8
Maybe so you don't pull a muscle?
Ziggy122 15
You must be having GREAT sex if you have to stretch first...
scr_sensei 14
Smart boyfriend. My friends and I jokingly got in the habit of stretching before we go out drinking — it's actually a great idea. I think I'm going to have to extend my stretching regime to include pre-/post-coital stretching. Thanks for the inspiration, OP's boyfriend.
CaptainBlack 18
Before is one thing, but after?!
syrini 7
Pulling something can be messy.
Omniprism 15
That's cute I think. I would be annoyed but also laughing at the same time.
pattayarick 8
I really doubt that he's that good. Next time that he suggests that just say: "no, that's not necessary, I remember your last performance."
Shade1982 21
Lol, I actually laughed at this one :).
Bellaness 11
Why am i not suprised that this is someone from the US......
mmmhmm11268 4
You shouldn't be having sex anyway if he's only your boyfriend