Today, I couldn't figure out why my crush hasn't spoken to me since last October. My other coworkers finally explained that she's still angry at me because I kept referring to her Halloween costume as a "sexy witch costume". As fate would have it, it was just a regular witch costume. It wasn't supposed to be sexy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML
Today, as revenge for cheating on her, my now-ex girlfriend sent pictures of me at a Halloween party to my boss and the HR department. I'm in blackface. FML
Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Today, my crush has been acting weird around me with his best friend. He's been totally avoiding me. I talked to his best friend and I asked about the vibe change, and if they're mad at me. He acted a little surprised and casually said, "No… I mean I did shit-talk you for like two hours yesterday, but other than that we're chill." FML
Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML
Today, I did a stupid thing and told my work crush that I liked her. Now, instead of living unnoticed by her, I have to live with the knowledge she doesn’t like me and only talks to me because I’m a coworker. As a bonus, she did say at least I’m not one of those quiet ones who give off SA vibes. FML
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, one of my coworkers called to remind me about the annual costume day at work this morning. I dressed as Pocahontas. There is no annual costume day. I was fired for dressing inappropriately in front of customers. FML
Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Tell her she can't help but being sexy to you. If her costume was Dumpster Fire, you'd call it Sexy Dumpster Fire! You really have no chance with this woman, so you might as well go out in a blaze of shame.
QueenSaru 28
Yeah that's a red flag lol. If she had come to you and used her words all, "Hey look, I wasn't trying to be 'a sexy witch' and I'm worried that's all you see when you look at me." Sure, fine. But the silent, "I'm not going to tel you because you should know why I am mad." is like, noooope. You dodged a bullet my friend.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Tell her she can't help but being sexy to you. If her costume was Dumpster Fire, you'd call it Sexy Dumpster Fire! You really have no chance with this woman, so you might as well go out in a blaze of shame.
QueenSaru 28
Yeah that's a red flag lol. If she had come to you and used her words all, "Hey look, I wasn't trying to be 'a sexy witch' and I'm worried that's all you see when you look at me." Sure, fine. But the silent, "I'm not going to tel you because you should know why I am mad." is like, noooope. You dodged a bullet my friend.
diraven 15
Ok everyone knows all women's Halloween costumes are "sexy" something. It's totally not your fault.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
You’ve learned that she doesn’t know how to use her words before you invested real time in a relationship with her. Sounds like a win to me.