Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
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Top comments
TraceCase_ 19
Guess the next time he's looking for a BJ, you're gonna be busy washing your hair. Seriously though...try some Head and Shoulders
a_cassie 4
that's kind of awkward
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Comments (268)
desser627 0
take a shower then, ya dirty hoe! haha, just kidding, head and shoulders should help with that problem.
thatyngboyryan 1
did u atleast swallow lol
sweetangelgal 3
hehehehe lol lmao
barbiekid542 0
lmao! wash your hair. fhl.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Dandruff doesn't always happen with a dirty scalp, you know. Sometimes it can happen when it's over-cleaned.
briidontgive_ 0
Well then its her fault for not using head and shoulders or selsun blue every other day.
skittlezopz 0
wow fhl :(
oglefro 6
I would quit and give him blue balls. or said he had a really small dick that hurts the soul of all men or when you have sex say is it in yet
covertsnake 0
tell him to let u know before he climaxes, then point it at his face
pXc_fml 0
buahahaha
man_in_black08 28
why r ppl so shameless on here.. no one wants to hear ur private life or u giving a ******** or sometthing... thts a lil too much info.. unless u like the attention, then YDI
TraceCase_ 19
Sure they do! You can keep whatever level of anonymity you so choose when you post so who cares? Don't read them if you're offended. I find it entertaining and comforting to know that embarrassing shit happens to other people too.
MJ_Goobs_Xx 0
that's like the whole premise of fml man…
BoxxedSanity 2
Because this is intimacy section of FML. you are supposed to put stuff like this here. If you are going to bitch about this stuff then don't read FML.
kss_ga_champ5408 1
you suck. literally.