Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TraceCase_ 19
Guess the next time he's looking for a BJ, you're gonna be busy washing your hair. Seriously though...try some Head and Shoulders
a_cassie 4
that's kind of awkward
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (268)
cheskiiie 0
LOL wow an idiot
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Dandruff is sexy. All those little white flakes that ever so gently fall upon your **** feel so good ^_^ XD jk
dirtyblond 4
Ohhhh maan... :O That was pretty disturbing!
RavenLovesGir 0
Avenged Sevenfold is AMAZING! ^_^ Btw that comment grossed me out >.< Haha
EddieBlake 0
avenged faggotfold grosses me out. funny how that works.
CitrusGirl 0
^ bad kid avenged sevenfold is awesome
SkoalThugz 0
avagina sevenfold sucks
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Both EddieBlake and SkoalThugz should be moderated for such blasphemy!! D:<
testthecoal 5
flame war ftl. Armin Van Burren ftw!
staceysgenesis16 0
Ewwuhh baha that was gross !!
xX_rawr_KiTTiEXx 0
Yeah, they're pretty shitty.
fbaby69 0
tht makes me horny? Jk :}
Monikabug 9
They were great, prior to Bat Country; Then every kid within 5 miles of a radio dropped to their knees, mouths gaping for A7X, suddenly their number one, dyed-in-the-wool fan. Take me back to the days of An Epic Of Time Wasted.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
In my opinion, their new stuff is just as good as their old. I wasn't a big fan of their first album only because I'm not into a lot of screaming.
A7X_LoVeee 10
A7X <3
CitrusGirl 0
If avenged sevenfold is shorty than what does that make Hinder, Ke$ha, Nickleback and the other bk "artists"? Lower than dirt? Maybe A7X isn't your style but at least they have talent.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Lmao, Well that EddieBlake guy got moderated at least XD I think the mods are A7X fans >:D
EddieBlake 0
no, they're jokes.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Your mom :O ooooo XD jk
xITZxTuRtLeX 0
suicide silence ftw!!!!! **** avenged sevenfags!!!
sailkid16 0
lol A7X rocks
mollyslips 13
sevenfold rule!! I love them, and dandruff is sexy!! head and shoulders adverts make me ****!! XD
chaleighrae7 4
awkward. ?
Death_From_Above 0
yes. very awkward
xITZxTuRtLeX 0
awkward? should of had a snickers!
chaleighrae7 4
^hahaha{:
xITZxTuRtLeX 0
:) glad to know some have a sense of humor lol
chaleighrae7 4
haha well thankyou(;
kiko686 0
chaleigh ur loner pretty
chaleighrae7 4
I'm what? haha
lmaoatall 6
and while you were down there you said, uuuhh, so do you!!!
myyprincessxo 4
win
negb 30
ftw
T552 12
If that was me I would have stopped and said "Continue yourself. Later"
khaya 9
Did you have dandruff before the *******.
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
ewwww... ur fault OP, try head & shoulders or some other shampoo
NecromancerA7X 0
haha HEAD and shoulders ;)
EddieBlake 0
loreal - apparently you're not worth it.
EddieBlake 0
Selsun blue. LOL
toasty97 3
that's a turnoff allright
sourgirl101 29
"The top of your head is so lovely" There! Is that better?(:
TheDrifter 24
That's my favorite part of a woman's body too.