Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML
Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
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Top comments
seeoseek 18
Ewwww nasty!!
isallwaysme 27
That's damnruff (horrible pun over)
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Comments (128)
seeoseek 18
Ewwww nasty!!
andromeda335 9
Barf... That's disgusting!
beddington 7
Sounds like the perfect opportunity /excuse to shower together.
420Zombie 17
I agree with you 70... if op is down to get naked with a walking infestation
RedPillSucks 33
Lord knows what kind of genital lice/crabs he has
i_luv_dogs 10
I would get him to cut his hair short to get rid if the lice/ dandruff. Then he could grow it out again, this time being more hygienic.
tylahgrace 12
As a hairdresser, it's highly unlikely that they 'crawled' onto your hand. They don't just fall out of your head when touched, otherwise it'd be really easy to get rid of them
ihaveasushicat 24
160, what if he had like... a swarm of them? D: can they fall out then?
royalsgrl 14
You can be hygienic and get lice!!! They can jump from head to head
Tashadawn1186 4
165- lice can NOT jump.
kathii01 20
160 Actually as a nurse, if he has a lot of hair, and a lot of lice, then it is possible for them to crawl on her hand.
simplycinfulxxx 2
Actually, I had a pretty bad case of head lice once and they fell out of my hair easily. If you have enough of them, they can.
krispybacon4321 23
Yes they can...
krispybacon4321 23
Actually if one is infested with them and your hand is in that person's hair, then yes lice can crawl or fall into your hand...
whinthy 18
Dandruff and lice control shampoo will make for a good present (;
countryrose92 23
Time for the first shower together!!
tararochelle 18
I wouldn't be showering with him until that lice was gone!
seeoseek 18
BANG!!!
Kamon97 23
YDI for picking a boyfriend because of looks
gymnast4life77 17
Can you spell break-up haha
Palirose 22
I think there are bigger things to leave someone for than that. Those are easy fixes...not a personality flaw or not getting along ect. If you break up with someone over small crap like that you're in for a long lonely life.
enormouselephant 15
Yes I can! B-R-E-A-K--U-P. Gosh, no body else here could do that?!
euphoricness 28
I CAN TOO! B-R-A-K-E-U-P! Oh wait...
perdix 31
#66, pretty close, but there should be three hyphens between the K and the U, the middle one representing the hyphen itself, and one to the right and the left to separate it from the adjoining letters. Am I aggravating, or what? Irregardless, I'm literally right.
apax 9
Is irregardless a valid word? It negates its own negative. I can be annoying too. (kisses)
rachaelb07 6
Really #30?! If his hair is in that kind of shape, think of what his balls must be like. Yuck!
ALlamaOnFire 20
101 - just because he has dandruff and lice on his head it does not mean he has dandruff and lice on his balls. I'm sure everyone has suffered dandruff on their head at some point in their lives butt personally I've never had it down there...
Schizomaniac 24
Congratulations on identifying part of the joke, 96.
rachaelb07 6
109, I see your point. Dandruff isn't necessarily something you can control, but lice definitely is. My point was that if he was allowing lice to be where people could see them, what is he doing to the areas no one can see?
Mayan80 6
Nice!!!!
asb818 14
No, read it again...LICE!
isallwaysme 27
That's damnruff (horrible pun over)
gotaplanstan 28
Lice of you to still kiss him though!
garrett1999o3 16
And that was-Oh Dammit! #44 stole my joke :(
enormouselephant 15
7- it's going to be a damn ruff time for you if you don't at least quote me in your profile for stealing my bio! You itch!
Matt_greener 8
Thats "nit" good it would really "tick" me off. See what i did? :D
420Zombie 17
I saw what you did... I was just unimpressed
isallwaysme 27
68, I actually saw it on someone elses bio believe out or not.
isallwaysme 27
It* not out
acerima 11
We'll I know what you're getting him for Christmas.
RedPillSucks 33
I bet she will give him that gift for a closer holiday, like Easter.
dyehardxen 19
The apostrophe in "well" threw me off.
theannak 7
Shoot, I'd say screw the holiday and tell him I just felt like being nice.
kristensmith95 4
Maybe an event will come up sooner where she has to by him a gift
Roskosity 22
That would bug me.
fmyluff 7
Pun intended?:) well done.
KingDead 18
The fact that he seems to have not known or done anything about it..!? Based on the fact OP didn't know, and wasn't informed. Leads me to believe, you should probably let this one go...
iluvFMLs15 19
but...but...why?! He's just so gorgeous!!! Gorgeous beats dandruff and lice any day!!! Lol
sugarshane007 20
At least one of those radioactive buggers didn't bite you. I mean, who really wants to be Lice-Girl?
xtna 9
Vomit