Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
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Top comments
TraceCase_ 19
Guess the next time he's looking for a BJ, you're gonna be busy washing your hair. Seriously though...try some Head and Shoulders
a_cassie 4
that's kind of awkward
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Comments (268)
TrueStory22 0
You should stop right before the uhh...fireworks go off, then go say you have run out and get some new shampoo. "Wow, you really do have blue balls!" All kidding aside, the boyfriend needs to learn not to run his mouth. People in general should just learn that being open and honest does not have to include blurting things out like a child.
imreallyhigh 0
its prob from him rubbin his hand on the back of yo head so hard everytime you suck him off. you be givin him that Becky on the daily huh??
TrueStory22 0
"Today, I gave my boyfriend a ******* for the FIRST time." Read it and weep. Weep because you can't read.
hotchick90037 3
This is not an fml... they do have shampoo for dandruff so here is a hint... buy some!
Krilleee 5
haha I lol'd xD
mintcar 10
Oh I love what you do to my head, when you pull me upstairs and you push me to bed.
skittlezopz 0
um
mintcar 10
Cure lyrics. Chill homie.
perdix 31
You give him head, he gives you Head. . . & Shoulders. Sounds like you came out a head in that deal.
jenaandtyler4eva 0
maybe he wasn't enjoying it that much or that it really got on his nerves when you don't take care of ur hair
seb_fml 4
today
collegeadministr 0
ew you should fix that.
ydur 0
you must also suck at ********, had it been good that may have been overlooked untill completion