Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TraceCase_ 19
Guess the next time he's looking for a BJ, you're gonna be busy washing your hair. Seriously though...try some Head and Shoulders
a_cassie 4
that's kind of awkward
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (268)
belle2113 0
I have a solution. Give him one next time in the shower and he can use some head and shoulders on your scalp.
croso88 5
wow I think he's lucky he didn't get a bite from you
monkeebalz 0
that blows : D teehee
gearsmaster 0
don't give blue balls without the blue, selson blue
559boss 0
hahahaha fucken funay
majorasshole 4
******.
RuskiManBearPig 4
head & shoulders = perfect *******
jcdiva7 0
Get some head and shoulders
kashenny73 0
I would've bitten him for being such a douche.
oGarlande 0
wow the ******** must not have been very good because I'm not paying attention to anything else when my fiancé is giving me one