Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor's son is supposed to be giving me gas money for driving him to school each morning. He's using it to buy drugs instead. FML
Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML
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Top comments
BoredomKillsinc 0
i hope the dog learns to defend itself and bite off the kids little weiner...
omgshaylaaa 0
awe it's your job to train your kid haha poor dog :(
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Comments (114)
RayRay85 0
F the dog
JenL_fml 7
Doesn't anyone believe in discipline anymore? v.v A couple of licks would straighten him out. Send him to my house. >:)
swimmerstud 7
a spank would make the kid not do it again because he doesn't want to get spanked again. when I was a kid I almost never got spanked. my parents used a stern voice to say no don't do that again. and when I did get a spanking I knew not to do it again.
stormborn 0
tell the kid next time he does it you'll pee on him see if he likes being peed on
Zmeilerr 22
At least she's not sticking pencils up your cats butt.
meteor_stream 9
19, when will the likes of you understand that the "you don't have a child" argument is outdated as hell? You know, sometimes you don't have to do things to know how they work. A slap on the butt is always, always appropriate when a child does something wrong. It takes a minute and has an awesome "no can do" effect on the kid.
ScuseMePrincess 2
Watch your kid better and invest in a leather belt... Or wooden spoon.
pavloviandoggy 4
The dog probably peed on him first.
Quagmire69 5
Watersports just isn't for adults anymore!
lynbrook 1
Lock one of them in the bathroom