Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor's son is supposed to be giving me gas money for driving him to school each morning. He's using it to buy drugs instead. FML
Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML
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Top comments
BoredomKillsinc 0
i hope the dog learns to defend itself and bite off the kids little weiner...
omgshaylaaa 0
awe it's your job to train your kid haha poor dog :(
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Comments (114)
SAgirl 23
Spank him? Or are you one of those "time out corner" parents?
kellykerplunkksl 0
19, every time I see your face, my heart goes all aflutter
robyn2222 0
perhaps the OP should take a parenting class.
rudikk99 2
lol!! tall the kid if he keeped peeing on any dog he would slowly transforms into s dog himself...
lolol_BKYCHO 3
Just start peeing on him. Problem solved, unless he likes it.
Doortje 30
How the **** does that solve the problem?
Zmeilerr 22
Someone's got their head way too far up their ass.
lolol_BKYCHO 3
You thought I was being serious? Wow and my head is too far up my ass!
RedPillSucks 33
Give the kid a break. He's probably getting back at the dog for pissing on him first. By the way, make sure he doesn't try to shove any pencils up the dogs butt.
hostilexa 0
Get him fixed he'll stop peeing on the dog
Nickolazx 0
Its not considered a habit until its 21 times in a row, hope this helps.
skyeyez9 25
61: Lol. Those parents are hilarious to see though (and annoying). I saw one kid around 5 at the zoo kept trying to climb a small wall into the koi pond after being told repeatedly No. His mom was like "You're being bad and not listening! Now give me a hug!" And she left it at that. Kid still kept botherig the fish and then started throwing rocks at the koi.
TheDrifter 24
Those parents are hilarious. Of course as a foster parent I often get to raise their children during the teen years...
lesleykay 0
71, i just laughed out loud. I'd die laughing if I were there!
TheDrifter 24
33 I somewhat disagree. A sharp swat on the bottom shows your child that it's wrong in a more time efficient manner than explaining in a language they barely speak. As for the earlier poster with the autistic child, I feel your pain. Me and my wife had an autistic foster for a while, with the comprehension problems sometimes it takes a half dozen methods to get an idea through to them.