Today, it's been a week since my girlfriend moved into my house and I have now discovered she is one of those evil, unnatural beings: a Morning Person. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of six months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who recently moved in with me, has opted to sleep on the couch rather than in the same bed as me. She claims it’s because "her body" won’t let her fall asleep unless she’s alone. FML
Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML
Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML
Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML
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Top comments
JackWood 21
She moved in and you have never spent a morning together before? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Thaylok 17
Yes, trade me. It would be so horrible having someone who isn't late for work and enjoys morning wood, doesn't constantly complain about waking up before noon......
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Comments (7)
JackWood 21
She moved in and you have never spent a morning together before? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
lizardlover95 7
p⁹
Thaylok 17
Yes, trade me. It would be so horrible having someone who isn't late for work and enjoys morning wood, doesn't constantly complain about waking up before noon......
Crowned Sataness 12
how did you not know about this before? you're supposed to be dating a while and staying at each other's places before moving in. this is one of the first things you learn about a person but it could be worse. at least she doesn't hiss and bite in the mornings like I do
SirEnigM0nk 22
Wow, they do exist!
RichardPencil 32
Don't you just stick it to her (figuratively only) in the late evenings when she's fading out and you're just getting warmed up?
FluffythePink 23
Morning people are deviants.