Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend only gets horny on her period. Unfortunately, she also gets extremely gassy, so I get to smell her vile farts the entire time. I think this relationship is turning me asexual. FML
Today, my girlfriend refuses to follow her doctor-mandated diet, which results in, among other things, utterly rancid gas. It's so foul that I've taken to sleeping on the couch, and I'm seriously considering hiring a prostitute so I can have sex without gagging on the stench. FML
Today, my wife is two months off her birth control as we want a baby. We haven't had sex once. Every little thing I do annoys her now and she keeps complaining that I stink. I shower daily. FML
Today, and ever since my wife has gone onto birth control pills for her endometriosis, her time of the month now lasts for three weeks each month out of the four, and on the fourth week she gets pains and doesn't feel like sex. FML
Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML
Today, I recently got a boyfriend, a real nice guy, but unfortunately it means I discovered for the first time that during the ovulation phase of my cycle when I’m super horny I actually can’t stand him. I'm stood there craving sex, and the guy I could be having sex with turns my stomach. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML
Today, I have realised that since I get laid so infrequently, every time I have sex now, it kickstarts my period. FML
Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML
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Top comments
nirvanatwerks 1
it’s not too late to leave her cuz that’s strange bro
poltyyy 2
are you sure she’s not cheating
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Comments (2)
nirvanatwerks 1
it’s not too late to leave her cuz that’s strange bro
poltyyy 2
are you sure she’s not cheating