Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
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Top comments
heyyimkell 2
Haha! You gotta love how honest little kids are. Don't worry though. All 3 year olds say stuff like that.
jillz 0
Clearly he has an overactive imagination and made that up because we all know that females do not fart.
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Comments (47)
cheetahboo2010 5
FIRST! :) lol but wow that suckss
123sploosh 0
damn you!!!!
chipmunk95 0
@OP llululululululrufffleurrflflfle thats funny u nasty!
dacey_fml 0
Oh, wow. I would be so embarrassed.
LexRB 0
ur not dacey fake
heyyimkell 2
Haha! You gotta love how honest little kids are. Don't worry though. All 3 year olds say stuff like that.
100lol 0
Lol! Kids are kids. :]
chellinha93 0
ohhhh the kid just told you off... LOL fyl indeed.
ithedarkone 0
GOOD FOR YOU MOM! YDI. your 3 year old son is sleeping in the bed with you lmao and you passing gas and shit. I dont blame him who want to sleep with someone who passes gas and in her panties. Put on a little pj's outfit and clean out your system with some laxatives... Come on mom! =P
WetDream_fml 0
Aw. Kid's say the darndest things(;
SimpleSimon 0
Fair play to him, I wouldn't sleep with you either.
LexOrdrin 0
You had a 3 year old in a doctor's office? That must have been so painful for you!
plexico 4
And now we have the first contestant voted off of MILF Island. . . She starts her own reality TC show: MIWFWYD (Mother I Wouldn't **** With Your Dick), which is popular only in Wales because they can pronounce that acronym.
Intoxicunt 6
Win. =)
Puolukka 4
Double Win! :D