Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor's son is supposed to be giving me gas money for driving him to school each morning. He's using it to buy drugs instead. FML
Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML
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Top comments
BoredomKillsinc 0
i hope the dog learns to defend itself and bite off the kids little weiner...
omgshaylaaa 0
awe it's your job to train your kid haha poor dog :(
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Comments (114)
sallen0046 4
Ok, no. The first time was a FML moment, but the second time is absolutely your fault. You obviously did not take appropriate steps to remedy the situation. Your child can't go around peeing on things, especially not living creatures. A toddler's basic reason for life is to test boundaries that you set - if you don't discipline them in an appropriate manner for them to understand, they'll keep doing the same inappropriate things just to get a reaction from you.
cmac86 24
at least you know who the dog belongs to now.
hideyoself 4
pee on your keed and ask him how it feels
milakitty21 0
you make me feel like a school girl tee hee :)
underguarded 20
How does a child start that habit? and how blind do you have to be no notice your child pulling down their pants over the dog? I'm going to try and not think about either. Fyl op.
Marzee 14
Perhaps we have discovered the next R. Kelly ?? Kudos kid, you're bound to be famous.
ILEUX 3
the dog's going to bite the kid sooner or later.
Jaykayfu 0
Get a cat .
whippymcdumb4zs 0
a young R Kelly XD
thelastavailable 13
On the plus side, at least it's not the dog pissing on the kid.