Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor's son is supposed to be giving me gas money for driving him to school each morning. He's using it to buy drugs instead. FML
Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML
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Top comments
BoredomKillsinc 0
i hope the dog learns to defend itself and bite off the kids little weiner...
omgshaylaaa 0
awe it's your job to train your kid haha poor dog :(
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Comments (114)
ohthebloodygore 16
101, you didn't address my whole comment. What if hitting doesn't work? It doesn't always. I'm simply saying OP shouldn't be called a bad parent unless OP did/has done nothing to prevent this from happening. Sometimes hitting and scolding don't work.
meteor_stream 9
There's another little trick, it's called "I'm not talking to you unless you say you're sorry and promise not to do it again". This works on little kids, they're scared shitless when their parents stop paying any attention to them for a while.
franwins0827 7
He's asserting dominance! BAHAHAHAHA!!!
Fuzzwolf 3
How about actually disciplining your child then, rather than just telling him "don't do that".
andjnicole19 0
where are your son's diapers?!
Mourningstar 4
Don't worry, I did the same thing just to see the look on my moms face. He should grow out of it in 8 or 10 years! Lol, kidding
pennamay 11
Umm. I'm thinking it's called punishment. Stand him in the corner or spank him. Spare the rod; spoil the child.
Epic_Times 10
o.O
rubberduckie94 13
one day the dog will get tired of it and give him a little nip if the op cant get her own child under control three rules dont mess with a slleeping dog, dont mess with an eating dog and dont pee on a dog. lol
IAmCicero 3
The dog will strike back, it's only a matter of time. Probably while the child is sleeping.