Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML
Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, and she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
Today, a cute stranger waved at me on the street. I waved back enthusiastically, smiling like an idiot. Then I realized she was waving at her dog behind me. I then turned around and waved at the dog, then scurried home to bury my embarrassment in a pillow on my couch. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
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Top comments
ElricMustang 23
Damn; the dog beat you to it. FYL
beaglegun2009 4
Good doggy!!
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Comments (151)
akallaan 7
Jump on it! Your dog beat you to the punch.
kalbrek009 20
Dog:I'll take one you take the other, here's how you do it! You:Noooooooo! I want them both, down boy! JK. FYL
Bassist5798 0
should've mounted the other one lkl
Bassist5798 0
ment lol
MegaElectric 1
Gives a whole new meaning to doggy style
ihatemylife10000 0
Thats a good conversation starter!
GoWithTheFro 10
Cockblocked by the dog.
Hazmat88 2
I guess you just learned that your animal is a reflection of you... Just a helluva lot more straight forward.
McNerdyNerd 8
My first thought? You should't even be allowed to HAVE a dog. Get control of it. If it can bite and terrorize people on the street while you are right there, think about what it can and will do if you aren't. What if it gets away? You'll get slapped with a hefty law suit if it bites someone.
OffToTheGayBar 9
I seriously hate when people take a funny little anecdote so seriously, while nearly everyone else is having a roaring good time with it. First off, not everyone is sue happy. Second, not every dog bites. Third, you don't know if there were extenuating circumstances or not. He was distracted by the girls, maybe? Fourth, if that was your first thought, maybe you should take the sizable pole out of your backside and lighten up. (:
cuddlebunny3548 11
Lucky dog.
jwally726 0
He had the same idea as you lol