Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking my dog when a lady approached me, commented how beautiful she was, and asked to pet her. I obliged and next thing I knew I was pushed to the ground and maced. She made off with my dog. The police is unable to locate them. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML
Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
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Top comments
hunny_kat 0
You should have kicked her in the kidneys and then apologized and told her that she looked a lot like another old woman who had previously hit you with her cane for no reason.
survivalism 0
That crap is annoying. Take the cane and throw it next time.
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Comments (112)
e_monz 0
Haha, that sucks.
shameonmedude 0
that really blows! You shoulda hit her back with her own cane....she probably woulda died
ravinderkaler 0
YDI for kidnapping her dog.
lmmmr 0
That wouldn't have happened if you had registered and licensed your dog.
drinkupgorgeous 0
I know, right? We got a new dog and that was the first thing we did.
GiddyXD 0
wth she didnt kidnap the dog. idiot
bobnorris 0
assault
mat_sib 18
Theres a button for that
lich_fml 0
awww. haha gotta love those old women.
ducttape89 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI dognapper
survivalism 0
That crap is annoying. Take the cane and throw it next time.
Quinklong 0
Maybe you shouldn't of kidnapped her dog!
sockmonkey560 0
omigoshhh she sid looked like her! read the fml!!!! wow...
Mathyouu 0
Shouldn't have*
fillmyheart028 0
agreed with number 3
orange9494 0
If your going to have two crappy comments just have one.If your going to have two crappy comments just have one.
fillmyheart028 0
agreed with number 3
FBIWarning 0
Kick her in the ******' nuts
ddrluna 2
Agreed with this. Don't take that bullshit from some random stranger. Old or not, that's assault.
genius_man16 1
totally agree. I hate how old people think they can get away with absolutely anything simply because they're old.
jackfm5 0
hahaha
scorpioserpent 1
LMAO! It would have served her right.
outofmyelement 0
Well, did you kidnap her dog?
hollyman 0
HER in the NUTS hers don't have nuts idiot
hollyman 0
HER in the NUTS hers don't have nuts idiot
hunny_kat 0
You should have kicked her in the kidneys and then apologized and told her that she looked a lot like another old woman who had previously hit you with her cane for no reason.
Althina 0
Hahahahah
sammeeleigh8 0
win ^^ :DD
aback 5
I doubt it matters who you look like. She's probably just a crazy old assaultive bitch. If she's so concerned about her dog, she shouldn't have it running around loose, anyway.