Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML
Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, and she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
Today, a cute stranger waved at me on the street. I waved back enthusiastically, smiling like an idiot. Then I realized she was waving at her dog behind me. I then turned around and waved at the dog, then scurried home to bury my embarrassment in a pillow on my couch. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
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Top comments
ElricMustang 23
Damn; the dog beat you to it. FYL
beaglegun2009 4
Good doggy!!
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Comments (151)
Mypjsareblue 4
Lol I love it
miosogos 0
Dogs do that to show dominance or they just want dat ass, wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah!
TheMystery13 13
1. He was either breaking the ice or warning you. 2. Girls - hell, PEOPLE - who don't like dogs should be fed to them. Always, ALWAYS trust your dog when it comes to other humans.
debins33 1
Learn from the dog
odeather 8
Not man's best friend anymore
Grauncho 27
I think it's fairly evident your dog has more balls than you.
bleedingglitter 24
Well now you can't date her, you'll have your dog's sloppy seconds.
JohnForge 13
That sounds sorta like beastily.. But Whadda I know?
HorrorJr 26
Good conversation starter if she's easy going