Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, and she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror, and she quickly excused herself. She was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML
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Top comments
dogpup4 23
What a bitch. Badum-tsh.
snowman34542 0
Jenna marbles
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Comments (103)
dogpup4 23
What a bitch. Badum-tsh.
ucoolgirl31 20
Back hand bitch slap all them hoes to the ground... Then piss on em mark you bitches as your territory!!
skokob 7
That's why she is barking!!!
DoubleCross 9
11- No offense but your comments usually suck ass.
AnwarK95 1
You don't want that thing to blow you, she'll dig her teeth in your meat and you'll never be the same again. Good thing you survived, psh bitches these days.
datoismyname 22
No she's not a bitch. It was probably Jenna Marbles.
haycassidy 7
34 that was my first thought!
spekledworf 18
Since I don't have a guard dog, I bark at strangers, like Jehova Witnesses, when they come to the door. It's quite effective
Rickilynn1 10
Jenna Marbles- how to avoid talking to someone. best advice ever. The Face always works.
tjv3 10
Well that when you tell them that you might not be the best looking guy in the club, BUT you are the only one that is talking to them
MissBoo101 0
I was wondering who would make the connection to Jenna!!! LIVE HER!! guess u deserved it though!!
itsame0987 18
77 Maybe they aren't there to meet a guy. Some girls go the the club just for fun, and don't want guys to bother them. Still funny they barked at him to make him go away.
downtime 13
...Deserved it for approaching someone he finds attractive? Does that mean instigating relationships is reserved only for women? If it is, we are all doomed...
Sparks808 10
Kudos to you for going back for seconds?
SpicyDuck 22
This has Jenna Marbles written alllll over it!!
Drigr 9
Maybe she wanted it doggy style?
conrad01 6
Sorry bro... Her bark was probably worse than her bite though!
taytoc 10
Not if she uses teeth
SqueakyChipmunk 22
You usually can't bite without teeth. Without teeth, it's....gumming. That may be pleasurable for op.
Dr0reos 8
You should have said "Bad bitch!NO!NO you dont get a treat"
redfishbluefish2 13
Thank you, JennaMarbles. :D
xlord 27
what a bitch
xlord 27
damn it I was beaten. :( ill just thumb myself down now in defeat
dogpup4 23
Sorry, great minds think alike I suppose haha.
asl_for_life 6
not a bitch at all. as everyone is trying to explain. its from a jenna marbles video "how to avoid talking to people" her advice works.
greenie213 23
Jenna marbles sounds like a bitch to.
downtime 13
97, Because someone else does it and it is on youtube she isn't a bitch...? No, shes still a bitch for that attitude - depending on how the guy approached her. That said, why would the idiot go back? Its beyond obvious she just didn't want to talk to you, why would you think their laughing at you was suddenly an opening to try again? I voted YDI for this guy being a clueless moron.
livamour 17
I feel like the "bitch" joke is going over a couple of your heads...
ohSNAPyall 27
97 No one said she was s creative bitch.
downtime 13
125, We got it on comment #1...what do you want, a sudden flurry of "LOLZ" messages on a repeated joke?
Donat96 20
You should have asked if she wanted your bone, if you know what I mean.
Rowdey 10
Yeah! You're talking about his penis!
hunterluv1 20
ugh posted comment by accident.. on phone.. Can't delete. FML. jk haha but seriously
nowthenagain10 8
Good luck playing fetch with that one!
AbbyAbyss 5
Just hiss like a cat and laugh it off! I'm sure it was all in good fun.
BandWagonGuy 8
It'd be hilarious if the op could voluntarily raise his hair, i can just imagine the randomness.
AbbyAbyss 5
That would be hilarious. Aha! :)
snowman34542 0
Jenna marbles
mckibben 7
Is a boss.
shaniquaaa 8
LOL, thats exactly what i was thinking
sambo1andonly 5
Just what I was gonna say. Could've been worse. She could've pulled the velociraptor. Or Hellen Keller.
bellaboo95 4
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who made that connection xD
Maddieekaay 1
OMG.. i was just thinking the same thing. if only she made "the face"
hihihihey 2
My favorite is the velociraptor! =) but ya. Totally a Jenna Marbles strategy.
upsidedownfools 5
So glad I'm not the only one who made the connection... :)
blondebrunette11 4
I was thinking the same thing.. OP must've been pretty ****** ugly.
coNsperAZI 4
Yeah, just looked up "Jenna Marbles" and tht shit Is ******* stupid. WTF people :(
Prettygirlnswag 5
Love her!
ArielTheMermaid 17
I was thinking that too! Jenna Marbles is awesome
Zya_fml 8
154, no you're stupid. Jenna Marbles is the shit and you don't have a sense of humour.
flapjackandbubby 1
I think she may have watched a Jennamarbles video
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I never realized how many people watch Jenna marbles
pack207 4
So true
singerlove 14
Judging by the fact that she's the most watched female on YouTube....yeah a lot of people have seen her.
Mirorbo 27
She's mentally unhinged alright. So are her friends. Also, I didn't know that clubs allowed children through the door.
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
I am positive that they got that from Jenna Marbles. Look it up on YouTube.
kennamc 0
The face!! Lol
GSXRryders 2
You must look ruff!! Sorry couldn't resist