Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML
Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, and she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
Today, a cute stranger waved at me on the street. I waved back enthusiastically, smiling like an idiot. Then I realized she was waving at her dog behind me. I then turned around and waved at the dog, then scurried home to bury my embarrassment in a pillow on my couch. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
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Top comments
ElricMustang 23
Damn; the dog beat you to it. FYL
beaglegun2009 4
Good doggy!!
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Comments (151)
beaglegun2009 4
Good doggy!!
airforce987 20
We all know a dog thinks the same as its master :)
burninnapalm 5
Guess which one is on her period
Birdie_Sage 0
Bad doggy!!! You need to get yourself a new dog that can handle himself!
GovernorGeneral 8
Good conversation starter xD
micahsmommy 13
As long as the dog didn't mark his territory on her she's still fair game.
crazycatlady5 6
I bet the girls had the hump after that.
Maddidaddi 0
Haha. Well, if she didn't think it was funny, she's not right for you :)
SkoomaKi 28
93 - is that right? Get the **** off FML you spamming dick.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Will the mods please delete the spamming comment of 93's?
margie2194 12
The girls must have been really attractive.
lovepandorasaver 11
Don't blame the dog for making the move wayy before you probably would have, could have still played it in your favor though
WOGBRO 6
Like a boss. PS: lucky dog!!!!!
ElricMustang 23
Damn; the dog beat you to it. FYL
ICATiger 13
You win this time dog.....
Birdie_Sage 0
Nice guys finish last...
Feared 9
And sometimes nice guys don't get to "finish".
SkoomaKi 28
**** blocked by man's best friend...
ApologyKick 25
At least the dog got some
TheThree 0
I think I'm in love :D
SweetlyPsycho 4
107- I feel so out of place when I see your comments!!
ALpein 0
"Stupid dog! You made me look bad!"
Rednecktified 5
Boogah Boogah Boogah!!!!
ICATiger 13
Doggy style! Look like his getting more action then you.
nofearjenshere 12
The dog obviously thought the girl was cute too.
Birdie_Sage 0
It's the doggy greetings!
RavenJay 7
One day. One day.
ewang_ 12
*He's, *Than. You're welcome.
x_Just_Ellie_x 8
Haha that's hilarious! But still, FYL
Birdie_Sage 0
I'd say he deserves it! The dog taught him the only way he'll ever get a girl is to show her your affection on the first sight! He should start taking notes!!!
br0dawg 6
hell ******' yeah! we should all bark viciously at that one special girl and then mount her without hesitation! that'll really win her over!!!
Awsumuzzie 12
79, my heart is now putty in your hands from imaging what you just said.
NoisyNykkii 10
89- Learn how to spell imagining, will you? (I'm a grammar nazi....)
juicifer 0
He only did what you were thinking
omgcookeys 15
He chose his girl, you're the wingman; take the other one!
annihil8or 15
U got a mean dog
Birdie_Sage 0
That dog is a rapist.
ICATiger 13
26- Oh Really? Well then. His climbin' up yo windows. Snatching yo people up!
Birdie_Sage 0
I believe I can flyyyyyy I believe I can touch the skyyyy Da...da... Daaaaa....
Maddidaddi 0
Trololol
Big_Chives 7
It's all fun and games until somebody gets mounted...
2ndSucks 15
Right. Then it's orgasmic, beastial fun.
muFilter 19
The fun begins when somebody gets mounted...
mxpklx 12
Correction: it's all fun and games till somebody get mounted in a fursuit.
ohmandapants 17
Your dog has picked your mate for you. I'd go with his decision if I were you.
AkshaySauce 5
The dog was just test driving for you.
golong77 0
Would you wanna be picked because your bf's dog mounted you???
ohmandapants 17
Dude are you serious? Do you know what a joke is?
omgcookeys 15
121, dude, never take anyone on fml seriously.
varamor 1
Haha don't worrie I would pick u if my dog mounted you ;) ;)
thelinlinx3 10
Well, come on, there's a bright side to this: your dog only mounted on ONE of the girls. You still have one more cute girl that you can maybe impress :D
Birdie_Sage 0
He sensed that the other girl had smelly armpits and has bits and pieces of crap on her vagaga.
thelinlinx3 10
Dammit. All hope is lost.
Epikouros 32
@31: Yeah, because dogs are noted for being picky and hygienic...
jumpshot32 11
You snooze you lose!!