Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, my roommate's shopping addiction reached a whole new level. He bought a box of tampons just because they were 40% off. Yes, he. FML
Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
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Top comments
Conkers 0
Why're you complaining? Would you rather he not use any with you? He wants to be safe. Geez... People these days.
Witchcraft_fml 5
inconvienentgurl - Please stop saying things, especially when you don't understand what you're talking about. You're giving me a massive headache. He meant the roommate wanted to have sex with him. Now, you're enlightened. And you misspelled inconvenient.
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Comments (112)
Kayem 0
weird.....i was at first. Oh thats nice of him, then i read the second part, and i was like. O_O;; hahhaha.
inconvienentgurl 0
YDI for not asking 4 some of the condoms or asking about getting some from him. n if u used the condom that he used then u r a nasty weirdo. or did he ask 4 the ones u had used? N just go buy ur own condoms...gee its not that hard. get a job make some money go to the store buy a pack of condoms do w/ wat u please.
ELFENMAGICLOLZ 0
Something tells me you haven't realized what the roommate meant either...
Witchcraft_fml 5
inconvienentgurl - Please stop saying things, especially when you don't understand what you're talking about. You're giving me a massive headache. He meant the roommate wanted to have sex with him. Now, you're enlightened. And you misspelled inconvenient.
zchpro 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=3438
hungryharry 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=4069
miniman332211 0
@50 chill ur balls. ppl cn coment wut they want it's a public thing.
PoopTrainDix 0
#50 for the awesome wolf!! tell that bitch who can't talk or spell!!
Zoeeee1234 0
hahaha! niceee!:D
takenolessx 0
so true. lmao. but that's nastyy
tatababe 1
at least you know that you got options
tatababe 1
I'm sure u 2 would make a cute couple
whacker 2
At first I was like o_o and then I was like O_O
EdenLis 14
Can't... really understand what you are trying to say, inconvienentgirl....
Zwische 13
You got yourself a new best friend right there pal
RustyShackelfurt 0
BUTT SECKS!
pingpongdj 0
bart sacs
JustSoLost 8
Aww man nasty
smellymellyy 7
erm, last time I checked you didn't need condoms for gay sex..
CanadianNarwhal 13
Last time I checked, any human can get an STD. Check your facts.
thek8t 3
Umm for aids and HIV its most easily spread though gay sex and all other std which is the point of condoms
Aska_fml 0
You should pick your roommates more carefully :P
FML102938 8
You don't choose your roommate in college
missababgaga 19
You do at some!
AnneFTW 17
Least he's being sensible, STDs and all that xD Have fun!
plexico 4
Yeh, but, the OP's a big fan of bareback.
Gia0896 0
HAHA! Atleast he bought protection :)
Conkers 0
Why're you complaining? Would you rather he not use any with you? He wants to be safe. Geez... People these days.
plexico 4
If this grosses you out, don't watch the internet video, "Two Sausages, One Casing."
FangBanger02 1
That sounds... interesting
PandaPandaPandaX 0
Intriguing. I didn't puke at 1 man 1 cup but came close. I'm feeling rather cautious about searching this one...
acoti 0
1 man 1 cup? I've never heard of that. I'll be sure to take a look at it one day.
Bredynamite 0
is he hot lmao xD
brenkite 5
Laughing at you own comment?
alijacket 0
YDI for putting out gay vibes.
uallsuck 0
r u joking?
greenltrn2003 0
hey hey #31...please observe the rules. *points to poorly written poster that reads "DONT FEED THE TROLLS"*
uallsuck 0
i know, but my personal rule is "take down all homophobic assholes". which overrules your shitty sign.
fudrick 0
Why is homophobia the only phobia that people hate others for having? It's just as legitimate a phobia as arachnophobia or anything else, but people call individuals with it intolerant assholes.
zrhcrx 0
i'm gay and i found that comment funny...
chanman 0
because homophobia is a misnomer. Homophobia usually refers to people who are intolerant of gay's. And it's not the only one - there is also negrophobia and sinophobia (among others)
upintheorange 5
43--because spiders < humans.
JinxQuinn 1
Homophobia is not a real phobia. It's just called that. The people who go by that false phobia really are just insensitive assholes.
juliaispink 1
Nope, i dissagree people can be seriously scared a homosexuals, it just a thing of life people can be scared of you, just deal with it