Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
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Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
Fun sized!
PSQ91 6
She's trying not be offensive. You should be grateful to have her.
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Comments (186)
nessie10138 0
get a new gf?
nathans_mommy 0
Lol why get a new gf when this one likes his "cute" penis that other girls may not like.. Lol keep her
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Get a new penis
Taylo12237 5
^lmfao ;D
kickazz16 15
Penis size is genetic, blame your dad. :)
llamalover96 0
ouch.. But at least she's sweet and obviously cares about your feelings :)
Llamassss 21
I bet she doesn't love him as much as you love me, though.
aback 5
If she cared about his feelings, she'd have kept that entire convo to herself.
miami_bb6 0
I'd be worried if I was you...cute don't please a women...either learn some other skills or get ready for the dear John....
captainbj2 0
"don't please a woman"? Lol...penis size vs brains....hmmm....
jessesgirl14 16
Guys who don't know the difference between "woman" and "women" are idiots...
kareltje 17
Don't worry, even with small worms you can catch big fish ;) Just throw it out in another pond and see if there are better things there.
crushedone 7
A bigger pond? Wouldn't that be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
lmfaoooooooooo 4
I don't get how there similar....
Mitch_Connor 11
FYL indeed If it makes you feel any better, no girl will ever be with me because of my dick size. At least you made it father with a girl than I ever will in my life -_-
cupcakemonster12 0
Youl find someone! :) size shouldnt matter it should be their personality that they love
Mitch_Connor 11
From all my experiences with women, they're all superficial in regards to how much a guy can pleasure them or their wealth. Alternatively, I'm at the friend zone. Whatever, I accepted my loneliness.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Why do you think that? Size in relation to other guys doesn't matter, what matters is size in relation to your partner. There's lots of girls out there that are too "petite" to be with a big guy. There's also those who experience pain during sex, often due simply to their anatomy or permanent conditions, and would gladly be with a smaller guy who doesn't hurt them as much. If you're caring and patient enough to learn how to please your girl, you'll have no problem.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
51, Move!! I know what it's like for everyone I meet to be the exact same brand of dumbass, but I found it's got a lot to do with locale. For example, people in Chicago are total dicks, but go further west, north or south, and everyone gets progressively nicer and nicer. So if all the girls you know are superficial assholes, you probably live amidst their breeding ground, so if you have a chance, get outta there. I guarantee you not all females are like that.
Mitch_Connor 11
Alas, I have yet to meet such a petite woman you described. I appreciate your attempt to give me hope though, it means a lot.
everydayim_fml 0
What theyre saying is completely true, it hurts for my friend because her boyfriend is too big. Honestly, she told me she wished he was smaller, so really, dont worry.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Don't worry Mitch, I speak from experience.
everydayim_fml 0
Also, the cervix thing is false. It doesnt feel good at all.
Mitch_Connor 11
Meeting a girl is one thing, making her even have a faint thought of going out with me is another. I have no confidence due to my size, so I just can't get past the acquaintance stage. I end up looking like a loser, so it is what it is.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I don't see how people can deny the existence of the g spot. Maybe some women don't have them, but just because science has not yet figured out a way to prove it in an objective way doesn't mean all those women are lying or imagining things. Science couldn't prove many things in the past that we ultimately ended up being able to affirm. Anyway, the g spot isn't that far up and can often be reached with fingers. Also, Mitch, this sounds like a deeper psychological problem than a physical one. Fortunately that's easier to fix.
rogerover 19
G spot DOES exist. Different responses with different women.
Mitch_Connor 11
It's okay, it's best if I never be with anyone. Don't wish to burden any girl.
viciousdeli 0
Mitch, you're one of the most modest and selfless people I've ever seen. That is a VERY good trait to have, I have no doubt in my mind you'll find someone for you out there. I definitely know that feeling. May I suggest broadening your horizons? I never would've thought myself gay until I met my current boyfriend. :)
THE_A_TEEN 28
The conversation above made me smile. :) I also have a small penis and also think that most girls care about size. :'(
gdude803 0
how big r u
Mitch_Connor 11
4 inches -_______________-
cupcakemonster12 0
I love my boyfriend for his personality, not his size... Stop talking down saying most girls say that matters only ***** think that and if they do complain they are probably not even glancing at your personality
BellaBelle_fml 23
I'm so glad to see that every one of these comments were all encouraging and kind, without a single one being rude, hateful, offensive, or just plain obnoxious! Thank you everyone for being so kind to him. Mitch, keep your chin up and don't ever let anyone talk down to you or try to embarrass you about your size. You have such a humble and over-all pleasant attitude and personality. Don't ever change. :) Hugs bro!
kareltje 17
What, so he can TALK her to an ******? :D
stevie1359 0
Hahahahahhahahahahhaha
laurenlolo5 0
Pleasure her with it and she wont care about the size. If she really thinks its snall then shes gotta love ypu cause otherwise she wouldnt stay with you. Unless she likes it small... nah thats not possible.
stfu_bam 5
As long as your getting laid, I don't see a problem. With that said, get over it!